My Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer 2 yrs ago. After gruelling chemo that he reacted badly to we found out he was cancer free. The in nov we were told it had actually spread to his liver. To cut a long story short the tumours in the liver are inoperable and he is having chemo to extend his life rather than to eradicate the cancer. I lost my mum 7 years ago to a long debilitating illness that meant she was in a nursing home for the last years of her life. I watched her disappear in front of my eyes and I am terrified of going through that with my Dad. We have no idea how long he has left but in an odd way it's no the idea of losing him that I fear the most (although I am terrified) it's the idea of watching the cancer destroy my Dad. I have tried to talk to my husband but he is so focused on the fact that dad isn't going to die immediately and keeps saying that I might have another 5 years if we're lucky. I feel like we have another death sentence hanging over us and he thinks we're lucky!! He never asks about Dad's tests or treatment. He forgets these things and when I try to talk to him he can barely look up from his phone. I just want someone to talk to and to cry with and someone to hug me rather than dismissing my feelings and accusing me of being negative. I feel like I'm in this alone.