Here we go again.

It's never easy.... I lost my dad to cancer, my brother to a brain tumor and now my eldest brother, he hasn't got long left. He's got prostate cancer but it is now in his bones, lungs and God knows where else. He's been given a few weeks at most but his wife hasn't told him this.... He thinks that he will be out and about soon :cry:

The family wants best for him and make what time he has left, the best possible. His daughter, who looks after the elderly and also those who are at 'end of life', wants to look after him. She want's to put a bed in her front room, so he can see outside, easy access for a wheel chair if he want's fresh air and shewants to make up lost time with her dad.... Yet again, his wife doesn't want this. She is more then happy for him to go into a nursing home or hospice, or even home (which is 2 flights of stairs and the flat is a building site).

It's a nightmare...and what hair I have left, is slowly being pulled out. It's tough keeping things together, keeping our mum strong (she will be losing her 3rd son) and other people happy. As the saying goes ' I don't know if I'm coming or going'. I guess I'm having a rant & rave...and so angry at my bros wife.

sorry...rant over. :(

  • Hi Pinster, 

    No apology needed for getting your feelings off your chest (many of us feel some sort of release, letting off steam on the forum.

    I really feel for you - must be like being pulled in all directions! 

    Is your sister in law the sort of person who you can sit down with (along with your niece who wants to take care of her dad) and look at the pros and cons of what each one of them wants for their husband/dad? 

    Is it worth contacting the Macmillan team to ask their advice and what is available to you all as a family?

    Sorry I can't offer any other suggestions (you've probably considered these two already!)

    It's also difficult to consult your brother on what his wishes are if his wife hasn't told him the full extent of his prognosis. 

    I hope you all find a solution soon, and do keep posting if it helps to offload. 

    Sending you a massive hug! Jo xx

     

  • My niece tried talking to her...but to no good. Sister-in-law has made it clear that she want my bro at home and has told the family that she will tell us when we can visit. So I'll be visiting my bro tomorrow, with mum, to say our goodbyes....but to also make him laugh and give him a giggle (with the odd hip flask hidden away). :devil: We are hoping that the hospital staff will say that her flat is not suitable for him, then maybe he will say that he wants to be with his daughter.... Guess we'll find out soon enough.

     

    Take care and thank you for the hug :) xx

     

  • I'm sure your brother will really appreciate your visit (especially the sneaky hip flask) Hopefully, your sister in law will relax her 'views' in due course and make things easier for you all. 

    Take care, Jo xx