Hi, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer right before Christmas 2013. I was there for diagnoses and then had to l tell my mother and sisters. Sorry if my spelling is incorrect, as a type with tears in my eyes. He then had the Wipple procedure. After healing from this serious surgery, he then had chemo. In March of 2014 the oncologist said he had 6 months to live. He decided he wanted to die in New Mexico , my parents have a house there. So my husband and I packed everything and helped him move. My mom soon retired and followed. He saw a new oncologist who was able to prolong his life. Last weekend my dads belly started swelling, as well as his legs . We were told that this is it! Not much longer to live! I am the oldest of my sisters so I am the rock of my family and have supported them. Since this terminal diagnosis I can't seem to keep it together for my self let alone my sisters. All I seem to do is sob. All I keep thinking about is his suffering, being in pain, and why should a wonderful father who's been my solid rock die like this... Then of course I think about my boys, especially my 16 year old, who is close to him, how unfair ... I'm not a young kid, 47, but right now I feel like a little girl who can't stop sobbing because I'm losing my daddy! I was so strong and didn't cry, until now and I can' t stop! I sound so selfish. I don't know how to cope.
