Hi Elvis,

Sorry I can't give any advice on how to come to terms with this devastating news, especially given the lack of time you have for your mind to adjust to the new reality. You will probably feel the need to accelerate through the grieving process, but I'm not sure this can be rushed. 

All I can say is that somehow or other you will muddle through, probably fuelled by a mixture of denial, anger and finally acceptance. Just try to concentrate on the practical ways you can help your Dad and the rest of your family and make, don't leave unsaid anything that you feel should be said to your Dad.

Finally, don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself some time out to process everything that is going on. Easy to say I know but hard to do in practice. 

Best wishes and Good Luck.
Dave

ps [[]]

Davek has it in a nutshell = you will go through stages - not always in that order - but anyhow - thats how it is. Then you will find peace. Its a long process and there is no time limit and also you can't tell how you will be before. Its always a surprise. Having said that = you don't know how dreadfully sorry I am and how I feel over you news. Its aweful and a departure in your relationship. This is a special close time.

We will be placing a candle for you both this evening = this is a time for peace and reflection - its is not a bad time really x

steve xx

Hi Elvis

I am just another member on this forum who would add a welcome during what will inevitably be a difficult journey for you and your Dad/family.  As you can see from the responses you have received so far many of us can empathise with your situation though giving advice on how to deal with it is so very hard as we all 'cope' in differing ways. Spending time now with your Dad as and when you are able will give you the opportunity to support him and when our adult children knew their dad's time was near (even having had nearly three years of knowing it was terminal) just the fact that they came to the house at every opportunity meant a huge amount to their Dad and myself. Take all the support from within your own family and from the support services that may be involved with your Dad's care - they are there for you all. Trying to deal with things on a day to day basis is a cliche much used but it is still working for us now that we are grieving.  Chat on the forum any time you need to - I found it helpful talking to people who totally understood where I was coming from. A virtual hug is sent your way.Jules54