Hi Nade,

Sorry to read your post regarding your granddad. Sounds as if you have a close and loving relationship with him which as a grandfather myself, I can relate too. My grandfather died suddenly several years ago when he was on holiday so I never got to say goodbye to him which I regret. But he died peacefully in his sleep from heart problems which allthough it was a big shock to everyone, was something to be thankful that he didnt suffer.

It is one of the hardest things in life watching someone we love suffering from this cruel disease. I have lost several people to cancer including my mother and it has taught me to make the most of the time we have with them.

My thoughts are with you, please keep in contact, best wishes, Brian.

Hello Brian,

thank you for your reply sorry for the loss of your grandfather that's awful you never got to say goodbye but am so glad he never suffered.

My grandad has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the esophagus which has spread to his liver and kidneys and has been given 6-9 months to live.

I am extremely close with my grandad not only is he my grandfather but also a best friend the one person that I can go to no matter what.

I am spending as much time as possible with him and trying to contain my emotions whilst I am with him as seeing me upset will only make him worse.

I can't help feel that every time I see him whether it will be the last and keep praying that this whole nightmare will just go away although I know that it won't.

I am just so grateful that he is in no pain ATM and hope it will remain that way as I know I couldn't possibly bear to see him in pain.

its hard to speak to my family about this all because there all going through the same and are just as equally upset.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.

Sinead

Hi Sinead,

Thank you for the reply. It is hard talking to other family members about our fears and feelings as we dont want to increase their worries by getting them concerned about us. That why this forum is so needed as it's somewhere to come and talk to others who know how we're feeling.

I have three grandchildren and have a close relationship with all three. I have told them if there is anything they want to talk to me about, allthough there parents should be the first port of call, me and my wife are always there to listen and help. The two oldest ones then told me about the bag of firewood I had give them for the wood burner. I do woodturning as a hobby and there were a couple of items I had turned that I was not happy with so they ended up in the firewood bag. They had found these items and had smugled them indoors and had hidden them away in their rooms. I was awfully proud that items I had rejected, they valued so much.

Trying to contain your emotions must be very hard for it's at time like this, we realize just how powerful emotions can be. Never be ashamed to cry Sinead for crying is just natures safety valve to stop our emotions from building up to much. Try and make as many happy memories as you can  for I have found these have helped me when get over the loss of my mother. When I feel sad, I just think back to the fun we had, and there were plenty of them, and it make me feel better able to cope.

Take care, best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

Thank you so much Brian makes me feel a whole lot better that there are people on this forum like yourself I can speak to. 

Hi nade88 

It's good to have a cry I did that when my mum got told she had ovarian cancer I thought it is a curel illness the doctors are fantastic they have so much up there sleeve what the can do they also give you a your own Macmillan nurse he or she will talk you throw everything what to happen with your grandad the are always there at every appointment just incase you did not understand anything that te doctor said. When they told my mum and us that her cancer had spread to her liver we went not again and for sure her macmilla nurse was there when we came out the door from the doctor. Now my mum is in St andrews hopisce to die we got told she has advance cancer so I have not stop crying so as I sad it's good to have a cry hope everything goes ok with your grandad  take care

Hi bobo,

thank you for your reply so sorry to hear about your mum.

unfortunately treatments have been discussed with my grandads Drs and because his cancer is so advanced chemo, radiation nor surgery is an option for him.

The hospital are in the process of sending out the Macmillan nurses to him and booking him an appointment to have a stent inserted to improve the quality of life he has remaining.

I have suggested getting a second opinion on the chemotherapy I know it won't get rid of the cancer but it may allow him to be with us longer, the doctors don't seem to think any treatment would work and the fact he is 86 years old it would make him very ill.

This is the first time I've had anyone so close to me diagnosed with a terminal illness, my other grandad died from lung cancer 23 years ago but I was only 3 at the time so didn't understand.

My grandad has said he has accepted what is happening and is going to carry his life on as usual, I think it's very brave of him to look at it so positively but every time it see him he looks like he is fighting back tears and keeping his thoughts to himself.

So sorry your mums journey is almost at an end really wish they would hurry and find a cure for cancer so all those diagnosed would stop suffering.

X

My family don't want this for my grandad and my grandad wants to stay at home so for now we are respecting his decision.

It's hard to believe that he has terminal cancer he is not in any pain, still up and about going for walks etc.

He appears to be his normal self which is why it's so hard to get my head around it all.