You can only do what you can do. You were made for your road = so you are the best one to know how to go down it. What I am trying to say - is that life itself throws things at us but no one knows how to deal with them = only us at the time. I was told to keep quiet  but I couldn't - I wanted to scream and tell everyone - its my way and thats how I am made. I don't feel bad - I just had to deal with the shock the best way I could.

So, try not to feel alone - anyone in your circumstances would find it hard and to tell an aunty is what anyone would have done. If nan finds out = she would have found out anyway. Some times life itself takes charge and rally people round. I expect mum didn't want a fuss made = but you see - when we have  to pass on - well its sort of a natural thing and others need to make their peace and goodbyes as well. Its only fair to them.

How many times have I confided in people some secret only to be told that they guessed it all along. Its funny - but we are all in the same boat = only we are not the driver of the boat. God is.

Let me send you a big hug =and a wish that you find peace for yourself = I know its aweful - but so many times have I found a silver lining in problems.

Steven xxx