Hi I've started this as a way to try and help myself and get some advice on how to deal with this situation, I'm 16 and I have a really close bond with both my grandparents especially my nan, she's previously had cancer before and it came back around a year and a half ago in her lungs, I've only recently admitted to myself that I may need some sort of counseling as I can't really talk to my family about it as their way of dealing with the situation is just not talking about it. I know that she's coming up to her last stages within this now and I was hoping I could hear some of your stories and some tips on how to cope as I have no clue what to expect as this is a first for me, thank you x
Hi Hails, welcome to the forum where people on here are very supportive in helping others who are dealing with cancer in themselves, or a loved one. I'm so sorry to hear about your Nan having this terrible disease. I think you must be a very loving granddaughter to her because you have reached out for help for yourself in trying to deal with this. At 16, you have not had a lot of life experience about sickness and dying and even for us older people, it is very difficult to deal with. This is not something that you should be going through without help, either from your parents, or another relative. I'm sure you must be in school, so is it possible to speak with your Guidance Counsellor, or perhaps a trusted teacher? I'm a grandmom and I have a granddaughter and a grandson who are struggling with me having cancer. They are a little older than you, but we are also very close and I know they are struggling through this. I talk very openly with them about my disease because I know it is important to talk about these serious issues. This disease will take my life one day and I want them to have an opportunity to talk about their fears and concerns. We don't dwell on my disease and we enjoy our times together when I'm not havng surgery and treatments. Perhaps you can talk to your parents about how you feel and even show them this note from me. Sometimes parents unintentionally get pre-occupied with their own grief and don't realize that kids and young people need to have some emotional help through these trying times. If they knew how you were feeling, perhaps they could help you with it.
Stay in touch here and let us know how you are getting along. If you check out the resource section of the forum, you may find some interesting reading there as well.
Take care and come back anytime to share you feelings about this.
Hi Lorraine, thank you for your reply, I think you and your family are so strong and brave to be going through this, I have begun speaking to other relatives about the situation and it is starting to take some weight off and your reply has helped massively and made me realize that I will always have somebody there to listen to me, thank you so much x
Hi Hails, I was so sorry to read your posts = I think you are a very strong person and very caring for your grandma who is so proud of you. I suppose everyone copes in their own way and we all muddle along as best we can. Some times I find it hard and understand some of the pain and things you must be going through. Let me light a little candle in our front wondow so it will shine its light on you. You and your Gran and everyone in you family are in our mind this evening xx
I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. I went through a similar situation this past July. My beloved Granny (RIP) was diagnosed with lung & brain cancer this past July. I was lucky enough to have had 5 weeks with her. Although seeing her suffer was VERY difficult and daying goodbye was the single hardest thing I had to go through, I made it and I'm still here. I'm sixteen also and can relate to the family "brush-off" issue as well. I for one can tell you that if you need anyone to talk to and need someone, I could give you my email or something because it is important to have someone that understands your situation to have to talk to. Again I'm so sorry about your grandma, but there are people out there willing to help you through (for example, me. and I like to think I'm a pretty awesome listener/adive giver)!
Hi Hails, I'm so glad you reached out to some of your relatives and that they have started being supportive to you. This is too big a burden for you to carry alone and that's what family and relatives can do to lighten the load. With everyone supporting each other, you can get through this difficult time with your Nan. You can also come on here to the forum at any time and there is usually someone who will read your post and respond in a timely way. Give your Nan a big hug whenever you can because as a Nan myself, I know how much those hugs mean, especially when they come from a much loved grand child, and I know you are loved.
