Hi Jules,

Just caught up with you from your thread.  Glad you afre still hanging in there well with your Mum and hubby is still trying ..... I send you lots of appropriate hugs and kindness ... Though I write less on here I don't stop thinking about you all....

Ian xx

Thanks Ian, such kindness is much appreciated as you can understand.  Hope life is treating you well and Jack is coping with having 'cats' in his life.  Hugs are returned and I am sure many 'readers' will carry on benefitting from Debbie's words (once said/written never forgotten).  Have a great weekend.Jules x

Thanks Jules,

Just got back from it!  Life moves on and Jack is adapting well. This morning, for the first time, he chased my Julie's cat Ralph out through the cat flap!!  Albeit food time for hm!.

Had a good weekend of visiting my son in London.  He is to move with his wife to Sydney as she has been head hunted out there!  Some where new to visit I suppose:)

Kind thoughts

Ian xx

Hi Jules,

A belated birthday hug!!. Hope alls going steadily, and well, for you both.

We went to Wales, near Hay, for the weekend, to visit my Julie's oldest friend who lives there.  It was a good weekend.  We visited Hay-on-Wye , walked in the Black mountains then came home via Bath .  Couldn't take Jack as they have a dog with dog-dog agression so he stayed with friend on the farm near home.

Kind thoughts

Ian xx

Hi Ian

Wow, what a coincidence. Hay is where my friend at works' family comes from (her hubby comes from there and her Father and his Mother still do!).  She spends many a weekend in Hay on Wye and loves the literary festival and associated secondhand book shops to wander around.  I have only ever passed through en route to other holiday destinations in the past.  Am sure Jack enjoyed his time on the farm too.

Thanks for the birthday hug.  Emotional day today in that after hubby's check up with his consultant (emotional for him as  he  had to talk about inner feelings and the changes he has noticed) we then went and got my birthday present (emotional for me because he rarely shops but was insistent on buying me a piece of jewellry to celebrate being 60 (or was that to commisserate)).  I now have a lovely new ring.  We also enjoyed coffee outside the house together (long time since that happened).  We are now waiting to hear from the inlaws who have just returned from their two weeks on the Isle of Man to see if they have got any closer to finalising house moves (though so far they are still trying to sell their own).  Many changes to come this year.  Do hope you and Julie are keeping well and keep on enjoying life.  Hugs back to you.  Regards. Jules x 

Hi Jules,

Had such a busy time.  Well I am so pleased to hear of your friends and the Hay connection.  We may be visiting it again before the end of the year... we will see.

Congratulations on the big 60. I still have two years to go before that one.  What a lovelly present though - well done hubby for that one.

Things are still good with me but as with all relationships: they have to be worked at, especially at our ages - we haven't arrived without a journey.

lots of love

Ian xx

Hi Ian

Good to hear from you and thanks for your birthday wishes.  Just wanted to say that all good things are worth 'working at' when you reap happiness as a reward (though really appreciate how difficult this can sometimes be when life has its day to day stresses).  Being busy is good but hope you finding a little peace for yourself along the way. Sending hugs and good health to you and yours.Jules x

Hi Jules,

Good to see some better weather . 

I have to say you are right things are worth working at.  It is just difficult at time.

Firstly there is coping with living with the sadness of a dying loved one. 

Then comes the horror when that comes to an end and you are left alone. 

Then there is the bereavement cycle to go through ~ each in their own unique manner. 

Then there is the redefining who you are now alone and finding someway of coping with the loss and redefining the New World you are in and giving it some purpose and meaning. 

Then it's the bold step of looking for what you want in your New World without fear or guilt and seeing how you might find it ~ for me it was essentially the need for meaningful companionship. 

Then its working through the guilt of seeking happiness in the New World with what you find or are striving to find. 

Yet only if you make the effort to be strong can you manage all this and it is hard to do  ~ we all slip along the way and have to try again. The learning curve has for me been immense! But the effort is worth it if in the end you can find a new beginning and purpose and a new start.  It doesn't in anyway devalue what you have had before ... you must learn to build on it to live again.

Kind thoughts and hugs

Ian xxx

Hi Ian

Am making the most of the last day of my annual leave (very lucky to have good weather). Have visited my Mum this morning and am just going to fix lunch (hubby not doing so great on the eating front just now. Says hes not in pain just does fancy anything.  Weight is beginning to fall away and the GP now wants to see him fortnightly (he not happy at that news!!) and loaded him up with 'shakes' but he is just not interested and I am getting the 'evil eye' if I mention them - a no win situation at present.  He has the community nurse (attached to hospital consultant) coming to see him on Thursday so am not expecting an improvement in his mood as will resent having to talk!!  Hey ho.

You have been on a long 'comeback' journey following the loss of Debbie and I cannot, of course, yet relate to your circumstances.  Just remember the forum listens whenever you need to offload.  Hope  your daughter and son are doing okay.  Does your son have a move date yet?  Am sure this is playing on your mind also.  Do take care and remember the 'day at a time' approach.  Sending good wishes your way.  Jules x