Hi Ian

How you doing today?

I went to launderette at 7.15 this morning (very empty!!) and glad to get that out of the way.  Not sure when we will manage a new washing machine but as I do not work on a Friday this could become a new routine  I was back before Hubby had even realised I'd gone.

He is currently being pestered by our neighbour's cat as he has a large glass of milk that the cat would like - not a chance. We make a fuss but do not feed other than the odd cat treat but he often comes and keeps hubby company (better than a stress ball).  I have never had a microwave but can imagine if you are used to one they are hard to do without.  Seems that household breakdowns are all around at present. My sister in law has had to have her boiler replaced in the last month and our son had to replace the fridge freezer that came with their house (it lasted  4 months after they moved in).  At least we are keeping the 'white goods' company in business.

Personally dont think you would want to lose the 'echoes from the past' and somehow its a case of easing them into the 'unknown' future that you had not planned but you will find a way when the time is right for you.  Dont believe there is a right or wrong way to do this - you will know when it feels right for you.  How are your children doing now?  Hope you have a relaxing weekend as sounds like you have had a busy work week.  Take care.Jules x

Hi Jules,

Yes and to finish the week off my daughter - who is self employed, with a biggish mortgage - has broken her ankle running to the Gym! arrrghh!  Oh well that's life....

For me at the moment, I am over my blip now ... though know it will re-emerge again I am sure in due course.   At one level, I can say, this New Life is exciting and challenging although its not my Old Life and the companionship, love and fun I had with Debbie....

Anyway off tonight to my book club, for our 100th meeting, so that will be nice and keep me occupied....

Have a relaxing weekend Jules.

Lots of virtual love

Ian xx

PS ... and lots of people are still accessing 'Debbies Thoughts on the Dying Process' which makes me very happy ...

Hi Ian

How painful for your daughter (no good comes of exercise!!) and I am sure a worry for her  too. Hope your Book Club meeting went well - Do you have set books to read?  I have never actually belonged to a book club though enjoy reading (more when I can sit in the garden which with the current wet weather means I am spending more time playing word games on the laptop).

Lovely to note that Debbie's well written words are continuing to guide others - a wonderful legacy.

Hope you manage a peaceful and relaxing weekend too. Take care. Jules xx

Hi Ian

Great that you had an enjoyable weekend despite the change in the weather. Dogs really do make sure you get your exercise whatever its doing outside.  I think I would enjoy a book club especially hearing what others think of the books read.  Maybe one day I will make enquiries in my area if there is a group I could join  (something for the 'to do list' maybe).

I worked a long day yesterday after a very quiet weekend.  Sadly the peaceful feelings were shattered when I got home and an e-mail from the social serivices said they want to move mum out of her care home (as they are not prepared to help with funding whilst she is there) and need her to consider sheltered housing/care package.  They need a reply by Friday so are trying to sort out a visit.  I am not sure how she will react when she hears this as the last time it was discussed we had lots of tears and needless to say  I am once again  dealing with a situation where I have no control and feel somewhat helpless.  On top of everything else the new 'flat' complex is much further away and will require tube/bus/walk to get there and with the current situation at home I will struggle to visit as often (the guilt/frustration/anger is causing an emotional as well as physical headache!!). Hey ho will just have to see how things go once the Social worker spills the beans.

Stay well. best regards Jules xxx

Oh Dear Jules,

Your 'wo's' with your mother sound draining: if you haven't got enough on your plate to worry about!!  I had a similar thing with my late father ... he was moved from a home, he was happy in, to one where he died - that he wasn't !  His move was due to a deterioration in his dementia. Best of luck.  Social Services are not always the easiest to work with!  On a positive note Just Coping, I find can be a helpful distraction in coping with lose - or anything else for that matter!

Yes, I would recommend joining a book club.  It widens your reading and is good socially.

big virtual hug

Ian x

Thanks for the support Ian. A day of mixed emotions.  Mum told the social worker who turned up to see her at the care home that she was not interested in visiting the sheltered housing complex and that her decision would be to stay where she was and spend all her savings on being comfortable/well looked after. At least they cannot say she does not have an opinion. Social worker told me she will let the 'panel' know about the 'service user's decision' and all I can do is wait for the time when there is no more money a few months down the line, though not sure if that just means Mum will be classed as homeless. For now as you say I am 'just coping' but thanks to my close family, my online buddies I am less alone that I would have been before I joined the forum.

Virtual hugs back to you and hope you have a good week.  Jules x

Good for your Mum, Jules .... There's nothing like a bit of spirited determination.....though as you say it only acts as a delay in the wider scheme of things....but hey taking control is what matters.

Yes, thanks, I am having a better week, this one.  I find after I have a blip of emotional outcry I am better and cope for a while and I am aware 'these whiles' are growing a little in length each time; so that's positive: positive just coping! - but positive progress.  Progress to where? I am still not completely sure.  But taking a leaf in Debbies's book I am trying to make every day count and enjoy living in the moment.

Hope your week's trundling along happily. Ian xx

Morning Ian

Good to read you'er having calmer week and hope the weekend is peaceful.  How is your daughter coping with her foot - must be pretty awkward.

Was going to see Mum today but now have to do the school run for my grandson as daughter has to go back to hospital for more tests/results following her planned midwife appointment yesterday(an hour's appointment yesterday ended up lasting over 4 hrs and they are running more blood tests which have to go to 'specialist' hospital for checking (all connected to liver function).  Depending on the outcome will determine what happens next! Never a dull moment.  Hubby has managed his first 4 day week so hopefully he can rest up over the next few days to get his 'breath' back!!  Tomorrow I will visit Mum - no word from the powers that be since her decision so we need to talk how best to manage what is left of her finances.

Well an early start and I am off to the launderette now (to avoid the queues!!).  Take care, all the best. Jules xx

Mum, Daughter, Hubby,  you really have a full-time role as care Jules .... and still no washing machine!  You are doing so incredibly well you know.... how can I complain about anything!

Jo has been able to do a little work this week as she is about to publish a book and had the photo shoot for it.  So she was able to hobble around for that but she should have had a cast on it instead of binding (in my opinion).  But you can't tell them!

Have a nice weekend too

xx