My dad has 18-24 months to live with stomach cancer.

I'm 17 going on 18 in few months but found out few days ago my dads cancer is terminal and I don't quite know how to cope it feels like nothing else

Matters but my dad and how Il never get to do things with my dad when I'm older like I always wanted to see his face when I had kids but il never get that chance. I'm not ready to lose my dad he's been my role model and taught me so much in life and not only that he's been my best friend since I was a baby and I'm not sure if I can cope knowing his cancer will kill him. The thought of when he is gone and if I need him or want him he will never be around is killing me right now but he's acting so strong about it and I'm crying in bed and its all i can think about. I not sure how this works but if anyone sees this and is going through the struggle i am and have ways of dealing with it please

Let me know because I need some sort of help from somewhere.

  • Hi Alex,

    I am sorry to hear of your Dads diagnosis. What a terrible time for you. I lost my Dad after a 3 yr battle with cancer 16mths ago but am older than you are

    I feel for you, it is a terrible heartbreking time. I suppose only advice I can give you with hindsight is that its hard to believe its going to happen before it does no matter how much you know. Then when it does its so final. So I know its terrible  but I would say enjoy every minute you have with your Dad especially while he is well. Do lots of stuff, stuff both you and him like, make loads of memories. Talk loads. Be there for him when he needs you. You will be so much happier after. Its a sad time but you have to make the most of what time is left....

    You'll get through it, stay strong.

    Ger

    xx

  • Alex, I'm so sorry to hear about your father. You have to keep smiling for him and be aronud him, keep sending him positive vibes. I'm 17 too, and I have just lost my mother a month ago due to breast/brain/liver cancer. I know what you're going through, and you don't need to go through it alone, there are always people there to help and listen. It's hard for a teenager to see a parent go through this, it's hard to see someone who used to be so strong and energetic become ill. Keep your chin up and take care, I'm always here if you need to talk.

    Marnie x

  • How did you cope though to lose your mum because every time I imagine my life without my dad it drives me crazy its all happening too quick and I don't know how to deal with it when I eventually have to say good bye.

    Thanks Alex xo

  • Hello again Alex

    Throughout those 4 years my mum suffered with cancer was dreadfully hard for me and deep down I knew it was the best thing for her to let go, as harsh as it seems. I do hope you understand. The nurses told me to go in and say goodbye to her, that was probably the hardest thing I had to do because she was sleeping, so I gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her I loved her. All I do now is remember her before she got cancer, how funny she was and her playful attitude towards life, thinking that way makes me smile and makes me proud of her. I try my best not to think of her ill self, and she wouldn't want me thinking of her that way.

    The day my mum died it felt like I was in some sort of dream because it felt all hazy, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by loved ones, and you need to do the same. Lean on them for support.

    You have to remember that your father loves you and whatever you do in life he'll always be proud of you.

    Marnie x

  • Hi

    I know it's been a while since the last post on here so not sure who will see this, and to those who have posted previously I am sorry to hear about what you and your families have been going through. I lost my own father to stomach cancer this time last year at 59 years old. The whole thing was very sudden, completely unexpected and beyond heartbreaking.

    What I wanted to let you know is something practical that I've vey recently come to learn about my own circumstances. It may or may not be useful information, but having read your posts a little while ago I though it would be remiss of me not to let you know...

    It turns out stomach cancer runs in my family (my dad's mother died of the same thing at an even younger age). Very recently, as the dust has started to settle, I started thinking about that genetic link and what, if anything, I might be able to do to reduce the chances of my getting stomach cancer at some stage. I've improved my diet and a few other things that are pretty common knowledge as far as these things go - so I won't bore you with that.

    The one thing I learned that is less common knowledge is the potential link (there is research supporting a link, but I'm no researcher, doctor or expert myself) between stomach and stomach related cancers and the H-Pylori bacteria. When I first read about H-Pylori it meant nothing to me, but I looked it up and it became more interesting given the circumstances.

    I'm not going to explain much here as I'm sure you'll look into this yourself if you see this and are interested, but basically since reading about this bacteria, I have been tested by my GP and found positive for it. I am just about to start a short course of antibiotics that will eradicate the bacteria completely.

    Now, I can't stress enough that I have no idea what level of difference that this may make to my health in the long run but it's a decision I made based on my own circumstances, stuff I read supporting this link, and the advice of my GP. The H-Pylori bacteria isn't hugely uncommon, but in some people it can (apparently) contribute (along with many other factors I'm sure) to the onset of stomach and stomach related cancers.

    Anyway I thought I should pass this on. I hope it isn't the wrong forum, or in any way insensitive.

    All the best to you all

    Kieran