Susan - we always have kind of active hols - me and the girls are qualified divers - have been for a few years but wanted to dive somewhere a bit more spectacular!

Hope you get that fitter in soon!

Luke

Hi Luke

I too am a qualified diver although for various reason I haven't dived for about 4 years. I am going to Tobago in May with my parents. We are going to spread my wifes ashes in a favourite spot while we are there. I also plan to get back into the diving while as well. Buccoo reef here I come! Life is pretty good for me at the moment, I still miss Tracey but I seem to be over the worst. There is light at the end of the tunnel but someone switches it off every now and then.

Take care

Barney x

susan - you'll love it!

Hi Barney

Sounds like you are getting there - I guess you will always miss Tracey but it will become less as time goes on. Early days for me yet - me and the girls are going to scatter Helen's ashes on a favourite hill top where she loved walking - might make it a mass outing with family and friends but going to leave it for a bit. Still getting used to being just me - feels strange!

Let us know what the diving is like there - we are going to Dahab hopefully

Luke

I will be quaking in my boots, never underestimate a true fear, David and the kids managed to get me on a pedalo once on holiday, I lasted 15 minutes and in that time was in tears, burst my knee, scratched David's arm, and had my step son literally by the throat for making the thing rock, I was taken back to the beach and flung off while they all went back out, all that because I got splashed by sea water - shuddering about it now.  I will try and be brave.

Right it seems like you two boys have plenty in common so i will but (it should have 2 t's but ends up being stared out as a "rude" word) out and let you 2 chat amongst yourself, you don't need me around now.

Catch up on some thread at some point.

Be good

S x

Hi Luke

It took me about 6 months to get used to being just me then one day I forgot to notice it. Making decision about things like new dishwashers, decorating etc felt weird. I kept wanting to ask Tracey and felt guilty about making a decision without her. The other day I sorted out a new bathroom and had no pangs of guilt at all, I must be getting there.

We scattered some of Tracey's ashes at the local crem where we held her funeral. We have a marble heart shaped memorial there. The rest of her ashes will be in Tobago. You are in for an up and down ride for a while. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask. I will do my best to answer them.

Take care

Barney

Some of the things you need to sort for house etc seem a bit pointless just for me at the moment  - only me and 1 daughter her in the house and she will be off to Uni in the autumn! Still useful to keep busy getting them done. We were planning to redo the kitchen so I will get round to that at some point. Other daughter coming down next weekend and we are going to sort through some of Helen's stuff  - mainly clothes and shoes!

I haven't got used to just going out etc without thinking I should be sorting what we are doing with Helen - as you say will take some time.

Thanks

How are you doing right now? 

So sorry your family is going through this. I know how you feel as my Mom passed away beginning of March from appendix cancer. By the time she got a diagnosis it was too late.