hi dash

         im really sorry to hear about ur dad. you got a lot on ur young shoulder. i can understand where u r coming from. but u have got to look after yourself so u can look after dad. when we woz told about mum i didnt no what to do felt like my world woz falling apart. i looked at my mum and dont no where it came from but found the strenth to battle on. we lost mum in may. iv been really busy since holding others up. like you said you have got to make the most of ur dad while you still got him. but saying that dont think they ever leave you. mum died of lung cancer that had spread all over in her last few days. its a hard time. my mum woz just 67 when she passed and thats too young. ur dad is far to young to have to suffer like he is. its just not fair. talk to ur macmillan about how you r feeling they will help you a long. is ur dada still at home? plz keep in touch and we will help you along. comfort you the best way we can. i no there dont seem any hope at the mo. but trust me there is light at the end of this dark road all my love claire xxxx

Hi Dash

Life is certainly very tough for you at the moment.  You are so young to have to shoulder such responsibility.  There is no reason for you to try to manage on your own, for I can understand your younger brother needing your support, but your older siblings must take their share in this family crisis.  It's so important for you to try and take care of yourself at present (I know how hard it is caring for a loved one with cancer, as I took care of both my parents when they had the disease) and when your appetite disappears and you're wakeful for most of the night you soon start to feel very tired and run down, as well as very sad.

Your Dad sounds very poorly, not wanting to eat and drink, but this very often how the illness runs.  I'm sure he's finding you a great comfort and he certainly couldn't have a more caring daughter.  You say your Dad has kept you going through tough times but you are helping him through his tough time too.  My dear Dad has been dead for quite a few years now but he'll always be with me and as a family, we talk about him so fondly.

I hope your Dad is comfortable and not suffering too greatly.  I hope you'll have offers of help and that the medical profession is providing your Dad with good care.

I hope you'll feel able to let us know how things are going.

Take care.

Love

Carrie

Thank you Claire. Sorry for your loss. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders but who's holding you up whilst you're holding everyone else up? It's sounds like your mum had a difficult time but I'm sure having you there with her helped! Being strong is something I have had to be since dad was diagnosed, my family rely on me for pretty much everything. My partner tries his best to ensure I am looking after myself but it is hard. My dad is in hospital just now with an infected knee, they gave him an antibiotic for it, they didn't know what it was and the antibiotic caused him renal failure! Just seems to be one thing after another. We're hoping to get him home this week. Thank you, I will keep in touch. Take care of yourself xxx

Hi Carrie. Thank you. My sister is emotionally unable to cope and that's why my dad is so worried about her. It must have been hard for you to nurse two parents, I know how hard it is with 1. Well done to you, I'm sure you were a comfort to them . We ate trying to keep things together as a family and hopefully we'll be able to keep dad comfortable and help him enjoy his remaining time.

The Macmillan nurse that comes to see my dad is really nice, my dad likes her and she makes sure he has all he needs! I will keep in touch, I feel the people on here are really supportive.

Love Susan

Hi Susan

I was sorry to see your Dad's in hospital and I hope he'll back home this coming week.  He's certainly having a very difficult time at the moment.  With your sister as well, you've certainly got your hands full at the moment but I can tell you're a wonderful daughter and I'm sure your Dad is very proud of the way you're managing.

I'm so glad you have a good Mcmillan nurse and that your Dad likes her.  It makes such a lot of difference and will be a comfort to you all.

Take care of yourself Susan and keep in touch.  We'll all be wondering how you're getting on.

Love

Carrie x

hi dash

       hope you do get him home. there no place like home. how you holding up? yea its is hard to look after youself at a time like this all you can think about is looking after ur dad. i woz mum carer while she woz at home. we had help in 4 the last few days till she ended up bk in the hospice. i do care work as my jub but its so diff when it family. i must say i do take after mum cos she woz a strong person the 1 holding the family up. but when she woz take ill i  took over that roll. plz let me no how things are going all my love claire xxxx

Hi there,

I'm so sorry your Dad isnt doing too good. I lost my Dad in 2007 to lung cancer. He was only 60. There isnt a day goes by I dont think of him and miss him. Sonetimes it physically hurts the pain of his loss. He was the best Dad, a truly great guy. His smile made me smile too. His lung cancer also spread to his brain, it's not nice to watch I know, eventually my Dad wasnt my Dad anymore, just his body remained and his smile gone. He was in the local Hospice and the staff were fantastic, they still spoke to my Dad like he would answer them normally, they treated him with so much respect.  It's the most awful thing to go through - probably the worst thing but you will get through it. I can speak about him and look at photos now - almost without getting upset. You're already doing the right thing by asking for help and understanding that it's difficult to cope.

Aileen x

Hiya hun ... i'm so sorry to hear what you are going through ... i lost my boyfriend in may and he left behind our 3 wonderful children who are now aged 3 2 and 9 months (unfortunately rob passed away 8 days before our eldest sons birthday) ,,,, he also left behind 4 other children as well .. my boyfirned didn't find out he had cancer till 12 days before he died  after 2 doctors from our gp surgery told him he had nothing seriously wrong and that it was just 2 pulled vertbrae .. he actually passed away with advanced secondary cancer with the primary location unknown ... there wasn't anything they could do for him and the last conversation we had was 3 days after he was diagnosed as he deteriated very quickly after that ... you are being so brave being strong hun and i really feel for you xxx

hi dash, im so deeply sorry to hear about your dad, iv just went through that with my husband, his lung, then brain its a devestating disease my husband passed away 11/07/2011, please take all the help offered to you, my husband was my life my best freind my soulmate we had a bond of 35yrs together he was 55yr old yet your dad is only 45yr old, this disease strikes anyone, no matter young old you may be. treassure every min hour day together please repost as iv done since theres alot of careing supporting freinds that have gratefully helped me, my thoughts and prayers are with you all my love from liz

Hi Dash

I hope your Dad was able to come home and he's comfortable.

Please let us know how things are going along for you all.  We shall be really pleased to hear from you.

Love

Carrie x