I know it's a terrible turmoil that you're in, and I wish you didn't have to go through it.
Noone tells you what bereavement of a parent's really like. You came from her. You're part of her. You built your world around her. What happened to you when she died?
I often feel like the person we've lost has gone on holiday and the longer they're gone, the more we miss them. Having said that, I'm here now writing to you. Maybe one day you'll be writing to someone here too.
You know, though, that all these emotions will become bearable for you, don't you. I know there's part of you that doesn't want to leave this time and how you feel, because somehow you keep her alive by being sad.
Remember though, you have a duty to feel better, if only because your Mum couldn't.
Think, too of your Mum. Do you think she would have you forever sad? All those hopes and dreams she had for you didn't include living your life on memories for too long.
Having written that, I haven't dealt with bereavement too well myself. Maybe that's why I hope that you'll do better than I have.
I'll finish by wishing you the best and ask you to post to Loolabell in the Coping with Cancer section of this site. She's in the same boat as you and might just need to talk to someone.
im so sorry 4 u and ur family. live seems so unfair eh.
i lost my mum on fri. feels like i living some1 elses life at the mo. but i have to say you will feel lost, lonley. thinks that what makes us a strong person in the end. i find comfort by coming on her and chatting and helping others. ppl say i doing so well but they dont no what we feel inside. dont think my heart can hurt cos think it woz ripped out wen mum left us. it all still raw 4 me at mo but i hope u look after yourself. keep in touch. cant say i hope u feel better soon coz i no that comes with time
My Mum passed away in October, so we are nearly at one year anniversary. I am now finding it harder to deal with and think I have been in denial maybe??? I just wish that I could pick the phone up and have a chat with her and go around for a cup of tea. I need her so much. A mother and daughter relationship is so special and can never be taken away. xxxx sending all who have lost their mums, or anyone for that matter a big hug.xxxxxx
I know exactly how you feel. My mom passed away on the 5th June and even though I was devastated I appeared to be coping......or so I thought. I think the last 3 weeks have been the worst and I just keep busting into tears and when I start I cant stop. Life is very unfair and I can't accept that my mom had to suffer so much when she did not deserve it. I keep trying to remember happy times but I just get this dark cloud over me and can only remeber all the bad things. Does it get any easier?
I lost my mum to cancer in 1994, she was sick for 3 months and my whole world collapsed. I know it feels right to try to put a brave face on, to be strong for others but you need to grieve, there are so many different emotions to deal with, sometimes one a a time, sometimes more! The process takes time but you will come out the other side. Even now I have good days and bad days but I can smile at the good memories which come with time. the good days now outnumber the bad by far, but occasionally I have that black cloud and it feels like only yesterday! I found it good to talk to people who knew my mum really well, just let them know if it is what you want or need, most people want to help but dont want to upset you or know how to help when someone dies. Just allow yourself time, its ok.
I read your post & really identified with your words. I put myself under a lot of pressure to 'move on' and be strong. Behave how others expect. Reading your post makes me feel its ok, that it will never be over. The thought of time passing scares me. Can I ask how old you were when your Mum died?
