Hi,

I am so so sorry to hear about your gran,although it does sound like she has accepted the news and is ready to go (horrible to hear but might be helpful??)

The most important thing to do is let her know how much you love her and just enjoy what time you have left.I'm assuming the hospital has appointed you a macmillan nurse?It may be worthwhile asking about a respite hospital? Both of these made our lives sooo much easier when my Dad was re-diagnosed in feb last year. I know it's the worst possible thing to ask but do you know what her wishes are regarding her funeral as and when the time comes? I still have terrible regrets over my Mum's un-expected death nearly 3 years ago hence with my Dad I obsessively started making arrangements.

Thinking of you and sending big hugs

Kirstie xxx

It might be the shock of the diagnosis has caused her to decline rapidly, so possibly when she comes to terms with that a bit more she might rally. Sometimes I think the diagnosis can make you more aware of pain and so your grandmother might be reacting to the news by focusing on the pain more. If she has liver cancer this will need to be monitored closely as her liver will not be about to process medication as well. It might be worth having a word with the oncologist and see if you can get her referred to a hospice who are the experts in pain relief. They really are about achieving the best quality of life possible until the very end of life.

The sad reality is that we all die, though it is never easy to loose those you care about. If your grandma is ready to die then you should accept that, but tell her how you feel about her. Even when someone is dying the last thing to go is the hearing so make sure she knows that it is ok to leave when she is ready. I did this for a friend who had liver secondaries (Stomach cancer primary) and in the end she had a calm and easy death knowing that those left behind were letting her go. Don't make her feel bad about leaving you, and for as long as you remember her and love her she will never completely leave your life.

I hope things go smoothly for you and you can come to terms with her diagnosis. Vicki xx

Hello.

I know exactly how you feel. My Gran was diagnosed with Lung, Liver & Bowel Cancer on the 17th of July and she died on the 15th of August. Make sure you spend as much time as you can with her and be sure to tell her how much she means to you. Tell her about all your favourite memories with her and maybe read her some of the stories from the paper or from a magazine? I did all of those things because the Morphine made my Gran tired constantly and although she was awake she found it very difficult to hold her eyelids open. She also didn't have the energy to speak to us.

Try not to let it scare you into not visiting her. Although it's hard to watch someone you love so much get worse right infront of your eyes, you wont regret spending as much time as you could with her after shes gone.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Heather x

Hi,

I know this post is a few years old now, but i'm going through exactly the same thing! The comments on this post have really helped me.

Thank you all xx

Hi Pamela01. I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma. I sadly lost my Nanna in November to a short 6 week battle against Leukaemia. I was so close to her, I saw her all the time. 

You can never prepare yourself for the day, even when it's inevitable it is still the biggest shock. However tough it gets, I can promise you that it will get better and it will get easier. The pain will heal, no matter if it takes a month or a year, everyone deals with grief in their own way. 

Its now been nearly 3 months that I've been without her and I finally feel like I'm almost normal again. It is still difficult knowing that I'm not going to see her again, but I have so many wonderful memories that I can think about when I miss her. She will always be in your heart and she's just a memory away.

You must stay strong and look after yourself. My thoughts are with you and your family during this time. X

Hello , Mu grandmother is also diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer and whe can't walk anymore and she barely talk . i really like here and like to viait her a lot but I can't control myself when i see her , i keep crying , how should i control myself in front of her ? 

Hi I'm the same, my grandma was diagnosed with brain cancer on Tuesday, they don't know what stage yet as there's further testing, her only symptom is her legs won't work but apart from that she's just tired, im so close with her it's unreal I spend everyday with her, I cry everyday and I haven't ate since the diagnosis, im so scared she's going to go, I can't lose her she's only 74, im heartbroken.