Hello toostie and welcome to Cancer Chat,

Having chemotherapy can be different from person to person, so it's important that people with cancer are willing and able to have to the treatment suggested. While I can understand that you would feel like he is giving up, his decision may be less about you and the family and more about what he is comfortable doing. It's also important that your dad has an open and honest conversation with his medical team, if he hasn't already. They may be able to offer alternatives depending on his first experience with chemotherapy and they'll make him aware of the possible outcomes whether he has treatment or not. Your dad may change his mind, which is ok too.

Naturally, this has put you in a difficult position and I feel for you. At this point, I think the best thing would be to talk this through as a family in an attempt to hear each other's side of things and hopefully you can move forward together. 

If you'd like to talk through any of this over the phone with a cancer nurse, we have a free helpline available. You can call on 0808 800 4040 and lines are open 9 to 5 Monday to Friday. We also have some guidance around deciding to refuse treatment, which I hope will be useful.

All the best to you and this forum is here whenever you need it.

Moderator Anastasia

Hello toostie and welcome to Cancer Chat,

Having chemotherapy can be different from person to person, so it's important that people with cancer are willing and able to have to the treatment suggested. While I can understand that you would feel like he is giving up, his decision may be less about you and the family and more about what he is comfortable doing. It's also important that your dad has an open and honest conversation with his medical team, if he hasn't already. They may be able to offer alternatives depending on his first experience with chemotherapy and they'll make him aware of the possible outcomes whether he has treatment or not. Your dad may change his mind, which is ok too.

Naturally, this has put you in a difficult position and I feel for you. At this point, I think the best thing would be to talk this through as a family in an attempt to hear each other's side of things and hopefully you can move forward together. 

If you'd like to talk through any of this over the phone with a cancer nurse, we have a free helpline available. You can call on 0808 800 4040 and lines are open 9 to 5 Monday to Friday. We also have some guidance around deciding to refuse treatment, which I hope will be useful.

All the best to you and this forum is here whenever you need it.

Moderator Anastasia