OMG, I've just read my own post about dying alone( whilst holding a tissue to my eyes) on not needing anybody and I'm posting on a forum because I'm lonely. So could you please ignore everything in the post apart from my age which is true.   So Sorry.

Somebody help me, I never lied about the Cancer or my age. My mental age is most certainly at question at this point. Sorry again.

Hi,

I've just joined this forum. I am available if you wish to bend somebody's ear.

Hi John, welcome. I was just this minute wondering if you knew anything about the development of coal production in the lower hemisphere that didn't have an actual casual effect  on apes hair growth at the time of the first world war. Answer that (proud of myself for coming up with that one, no AI). 

 Funnily enough, this was the subject of my Uni dissertation.

The apes weren't actually apes. They were Australians tarred in goosefat and koala fur. 

Aha, the old " Great war and the coal production saga"  It never happened. A well known conspiracy theory. Started by the pigmy aborigines of Waka Waka. This was in response to the great Turnip and Yam massacre of 1916. On this occasion Archduke Franz Ferdinand wasn't directly responsible for that one.

Beautiful and well thought out, unfortunately and there is always an unfortunately. You have failed. Apes or Australians, well done you.  The primary question was hair growth and the need for an explanation.  So I will refresh your memory. It was the Blackhand  Oil that use to lubricate there legs.( If you miss the black hand ref, its ok, just hold somebodies hand who is nearby and ask for your meds).

Beautiful and well thought out, unfortunately and there is always an unfortunately. You have failed. Apes or Australians, well done you.  The primary question was hair growth and the need for an explanation.  So I will refresh your memory. It was the Blackhand  Oil that use to lubricate there legs.( If you miss the black hand ref, its ok, just hold somebodies hand who is nearby and ask for your meds).