Where do I start? Took my grandmother to the Dr's approx 7 weeks ago with shortness of breath after a cold to be told it was fluid on the lungs, meds given went back for a review 3 weeks later and sent straight to the hospital. It's now 4 weeks to the day since we were told it wasn't fluid on the lungs but cancer that had already spread to the liver, spleen, and spine and they think the primary source was in the breast. We also found out today that there's bilateral lymph node involvement.

It's been 4 weeks of making sure everything she needs is in place as she is staying home, palliative care are coming out soon to go through things with us. I'm not ready for the end and she's already deteriorated in the last 2 weeks, I dont know how to do life without her? She's always on the other end of the phone when I need her and vice versa, this is all so so difficult. She has taken the news like an absolute champ and isn't letting it worry her at all. I'm with her every night now so that she's not alone at any point.

I'm not even sure why I've written this, I just feel a bit lost tonight