I’m terminal stage 4 bowel, gone to my stomach and pancreas first diagnosed feb24. Immuno, chemo, all not working now and have had a couple of months break to work out best palliative options. I’m usually upbeat trying to make the best of what time I have with my family but recently I’ve just felt so ill, and I feel so hopeless and sad. I feel frightened to die and am dreading what is to come - it really is hitting hard that I might not get to see Christmas.