Cancer Research UK main site

Dying to live

Winnifred
Offline

My husband has had cancer for over 10 years,he has had 5 body parts removed,  he now has cancer in several places most recently the oesophagus and liver, we have coped well since having been told he is terminal

But this has knocked us sideways, it is distressing listening to someone cough and choke up phlegm so much. Now I’m angry for him because we have had to cause a fuss to get some help and we are not the sort of people to complain so that in itself has been upsetting, the question I have in my head all the time is how much more can he take. He doesn’t want to die so keeps on fighting but getting weaker now. How long can someone live with this much cancer ? He has never had chemo because of a heart condition. Please help.

  • Offline

    Hello Winnifred,

    not sure l can help other than letting you know l am feeling your anguish in what is a horrible situation.As someone who has gone through a stage 4  with outward spread with pre and post chemo and radiotherapy l am in awe of your Husbands resilience in his refusal to give ground to his bodies invaders.

    l could only have a limited understanding of what you have both gone through,but can realise you are both warriors to have carried the burden of your very personal fight for so long.The spirit to have stood up against such a relentless foe for so many years is the stuff that Heroes are made of and l can sense in your post that he is truly yours.

    Sadly age and wounds bring down the bravest of us in time, and it is hard to accept and understand that the time approaches for your warrior to lay down and find the peace that his fight in life deserves.As that moment draws closer his body may depart but the inspiration of his battles in life remain for others whose lives he will have touched, l include myself amongst them.

    l cannot tell you how much longer he will have left to suffer his pain and to share his life with you,l can only wish that his final journey to a lasting peace is a gentle one and that you can take comfort in having shared in that,

    written with watery eyes and honest words,

    David.

  • Offline in reply to gruntifen

    Hi David,

    I am so grateful for your kind words it made me cry, which is actually ok because I think I needed to let go. You can only stay strong for so long. We have had a lot of help from our local hospice which has been priceless, but as you probably know until it happens to you no one can really understand.

    I have read and re read your reply I only wish I was as good with words, it will help me through the day’s when he is not able to rally but also to enjoy the days when he can.we have our memories of which we have many wonderful ones and I hold on to that.

    Thank you so much

    winnifred

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.