Mum has weeks left

Hi Everyone, my mom got cancer 2 years ago breast cancer, she had one breast removed the first year everything was fine then out of no where she was coughing up blood and really feeling ill. so she was back and forth to the doctor over 6 - 7 months she had blood tests chest x-rays then a pet scan, a month had past and we got that dreaded letter to go and see the consultant we was convincing mom you'll be okay it's probably old blood from where they removed your breast, how wrong was we, we went to the appointment you could see the fear in moms face but trying to be brave at the same time, the consultant said it's bad news you have lung cancer, we all was just shocked we left the room trying to get our heads around it mom was saying why me. so another few months had past and mom got another appointment but in Liverpool we live in Wales, so we went the consultant who was also a lung surgeon told us it was a very small tumor the size of a pea he said looking at your scans 18months ago it hasn't really grown much so we thought okay, he said we could operate and remove it but we are not 100% sure it is cancer he said it looks like cancer but until we test it we won't know, so she was booked in for a biopsy they took 8 biopsy, again few more months had past another appointment at Liverpool, it was confirmed to be cancer same consultant said it's grown slightly bigger there was opinion's he didn't want to give radio theory said it would cause more damage to her health given her age my mom is 74 basically the only route to go down was remove part of the lung and and cancer tumor he said I've done this procedure 1500 time and never lost a patient, everything sounded positive, i had this gut feeling that was saying don't let her have the operation, it sounds crazy but my gut was saying no, i kept this to myself only you people reading this knows it was a strange feeling to be honest, so i ask the consultant what will happen if she doesn't have the operation he said good question? he said she could live 12 months maybe two years he said the tumor is so close to her heart  so mom said i just want it gone and agreed to have the tumor and part lung removed, a month later she had the operation took 10 hours she was on life support for a week we ask what's happening doctors said there was tumors in unforeseen places also during the operation they cut her main artery she made it after a week took of life support moved to a word when she woke she was never the same till this day it's like something took the soul out of her if anyone can under stand that, so after a month she could finally come home we was so happy she was never the same but we had mom home, then a few weeks had past she was booked in for another scan 3 weeks later told the cancer as come back aggressive said they was going to try some medication never explained anything really, we was waiting for another appointment to see where we go from here then i had a phone call to say get down moms she's collapsed so I've raced to her house to see she's having a seizure, she was taken back to hospital to be told she as 3 to 6 months my moms not eating or doing anything she's being in hospital a month now, so another consultant came by gave us the run down and said 3 to 4 weeks my dad having her home this Monday 30th to pass away at home I've been at the hospital every evening but the past few days she's really being her self again talking having a laugh even trying to eat am i being optimistic to think she could pull through this. Would like to thank my brothers for being at her side everyday of the week love to them and my dad love you, and especially my mom love you with all my heart xx

  • Hi Simbo, 

    A warm welcome to our forum though I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Your poor mum went through a lot after coughing up blood and being told she had lung cancer, then having 8 biopsies taken and having to go to Liverpool when you all live in Wales. This must have been so exhausting for you all and it must be so hard to get over the trauma of what happened after the operation. It seems you had an intuition that it was all going to go wrong and it's so sad she had to go through all this only to be told shortly after that the cancer had come back more aggressive. What an anxious time for you all as a family with her being in hospital now for a month after having the seizure and it must be such a worrying time for you if she is not eating and being told that she suddenly only has a few weeks left. 

    I am thinking of you today as it's Monday the 30th and you mentioned she is coming home today to pass away at home. I hope you can enjoy these moments with her when she seems to have perked up a little and is talking and laughing even trying to eat a little. You sound like a lovely supportive family and having your love and that of your brothers by her side must be such a great comfort for your mum. 

    I was very moved by your story and I just wanted to say we are thinking of you during this difficult time. Our forum is here for you anytime you need to talk and there are many members of our community who have sadly been in a similar place before and I hope they will pop by and say hello and give you some comforting words to help you a little during these tough moments. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thank you means a lot I'm just worried for my dad now keeps saying your moms not going on her own, As i cannot be with him 24 7 as i have a family also it's just heart breaking. 

  • Hi Simbo, 

    Oh your poor dad - it must be so hard for him at the moment. Of course it's understandable you can't be with him 24/7 to keep an eye on him and on his wellbeing so you must be incredibly worried. I think you mentioned your brothers being at your mother's side every day at the moment - will they also be by your dad's side to make sure your dad can reach out to them if he feels down? There is a helpline Samaritans your dad can ring if he was to feel really low or have dark thoughts - he can call 116 123 for free 24 hours a day every single day of the year. 

    It might be worth also trying to encourage your dad to speak to his GP so he can share how he is feeling at the moment and get the help he needs. The doctor will be used to dealing with situations like this and will have some good suggestions whether it is counselling or anything else that might help your dad's mental health at the moment. 

    I hope that your dad manages to speak to someone very soon as the coming days and weeks will be really difficult for him to bear. Your love and support will mean a lot to him at the moment and even though you cannot be there with him all the time, you seem to be a very supportive family so keep being there for him, showing him you are not far and calling him when you can and pointing him in the direction of the help and professional/medical support that is available to him at a time when he needs it the most. 

    We're thinking of you, your mum, dad and all your family and wanted you to know we are here anytime you need to offload. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator