Mum been given 3-6 months

Hello, I find myself in a bit of a dilemma and was hoping for some advice. My mum had been ill since Sept 2024 and we have since found out she has terminal cancer. We had our 1st appointment with the consultant oncologist and he has given her 3-6 months. She is struggling to eat and is incredibly fatigued. Prior to hearing her prognosis I accepted a new job with the nhs and started last week. I was an absolute wreck if I’m honest. Struggling to concentrate and be social with new colleagues. Prior to this I had been working a contract that had come to an end so really needed the money and this job came up. In hindsight now I should have tried to get another temporary job that had more flexibility but here we are. My mum lives a couple of hours drive from me and lives alone. I am in absolute turmoil about what to do. I feel unable to give this job the same energy as I would in normal circumstances and I’m on probation for 3 months. I don’t feel in a position mentally to be starting a new job but am not in a financial position to leave immediately. Also it won’t look good professionally. I want to spend as much time with my mum as possible and care for her. Any thoughts/advice on what to do. Thankyou for reading. 

  • A very warm welcome to the Cancer Chat community ZoB1, although I'm so sorry to hear your mum has terminal cancer and has been given 3 - 6 months.

    I can't begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you ZoB1, but I'm glad you've reached out to us as a lot of our members will know what you're going through, so you are not alone, and hopefully some of them will be along soon to offer their support and advice.

    In the meantime, maybe you could sit down with your boss and explain what's going on. It's very important that you take care of yourself at this time, so see if there is a way you can come to some sort of compromise that gives you a better work life balance and the time you need to look after your mum. 

    If it would help to talk things through with one of our cancer nurses, they're available on 0808 800 4040, although their phone lines will be closed tomorrow, they are usually open Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They're very easy to talk to and will do all they can to support you whilst you figure out what to do.

    We're here for you ZoB1 and sending all our strength and support your way at this very challenging time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator