Hello Pancakes, 

It's very hard to know what to do in your position and what to advise your friend.  She is obviously merely voicing her concerns and offloading as she must have so much on her plate and so many worries about her uncertain future so in a way perhaps it helps her to just talk about all her biggest worries and imagine the worst like having no money, having to move house, getting rid of the pets. It must be so hard for you to hear all this as you want to help your friend but feel powerless. I think you have a point when you say it might be her brain working overtime and anticipating the worst in order to prepare for what lies ahead. I think your advice to take one step at a time when faced with uncertainty is the right one and having this conversation with her husband if she can would certainly be helpful. 

Ultimately the most important thing is that you are there for her and there is enormous value in simply listening, and perhaps that is what she needs the most, a friend who is there to listen and accompany her in the coming months, sharing coffee and cake together and showing her that you are there for her even if you are not sure what to advise at this stage. 

Best wishes to you and your friend during this difficult time, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

I write her a letter in the end to read to her husband that was basically everything I would have like to have said face to face. That way she can read it many times if necessary if he falls asleep or is confused.