I’m 33 years old with 2 sons 16yrs and 6months.  My dad was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in October 2023.  After being misdiagnosed with a throat infection.  My dad was told there was nothing they could do.  He refused treatment and after I told him I was pregnant he decided to go ahead with radiotherapy to buy him a little more time.   Fast forward to July this year and my dad deteriorated very quickly.  After a brief stint in a beautiful hospice for medicine management we got him home .  Me and my sister do everything for my dad right down to personal cares and hand feeding.   In the past three weeks, my dad can no longer mobilise , can’t eat wash or barely talk.  I am absolutely broken to see my dad like this is killing me.  We have now been told that it may be for the best that my dad returns to the hospice for medication management and quite brutally that in an event of emergency they wouldn’t be able to get my dad out of the property and to hospital. I’m devastated my dad’s still here but he’s not even my dad anymore and the thought of him being gone forever is hurting like no other pain I’ve felt.  My dad doesn’t want to go to the hospice but in my heart of hearts he would be able to have basic things like a shower and to go outside.  I just don’t know what to do anymore.