Help with End-of-life Drugs to Alleviate Suffering

We would appreciate any help please. My mum has stage 4 breast cancer; she has lost her hearing, balance, quite a bit of vision, has severe facial paralysis and many more things and is deteriorating quickly. She currently spends most of her time in bed as it is too difficult for her to do anything, even going to the toilet is a major task. She is a very stoic character, but given her condition is currently in a form of distress and wants something to take the edge off - to alleviate her physical & emotional suffering. Because, as it is now, her quality of life is not one she would want to continue with.

She was prescribed Diazepam, but she says it worsens her eyesight, makes her drowsy and confused, without the relaxing effects. The nurse/ doctors have suggested anti-depressants, but at this stage I don't see how they can help, unless maybe combined with other drugs? It is not that she is majorly depressed, she is just a person who has had most of her senses taken away from her, a horrifying experience for anyone. And I have also read that they take weeks to take effect, that sort of time that she may not have. Does anyone have recommendations, or personal experience? Ideally it would not something that would switch her off completely, but would just calm and soothe her. Or something else that could be done. Thank you.

  • Hello justme8786, 

    I am sorry to hear about your mum's stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis and how badly it's affected her. It must be so hard for her loved ones to see her in this state having deteriorated so much and lost her hearing, balance, a lot of her vision and experiencing facial paralysis. The fact that she is bedridden too and that she even struggles to go to the toilet is truly heart-breaking and I can understand why you would want to see her suffer less both physically and emotionally. This is all very sad but there are indeed effective pain relief options available and also medication to increase her mental wellbeing. Her medical team/specialist will be in the best position to advise you on what she could take to make her feel a little calmer and if she is in physical pain, they will be able to alleviate that too. 

    We also have a section on our website on cancer and pain control including on treating cancer pain and you will also find useful information on painkillers there and find out more about support when you have pain. But the best thing to do really is to talk to a medical expert about your mum's options and seek help to improve the physical and emotional pain she is experiencing. You mentioned that the diazepam is worsening her eyesight making her drowsy and confused without the relaxing effects you would have liked to see. If you find that this drug is not having the desired effects on her, have a word too with her doctor and I am sure they will be able to prescribe more suitable alternatives. 

    You are also welcome to give our cancer nurses a call on this free number 0808 800 4040 and talk things through with them - their helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm and they will, I am sure, have some helpful suggestions for you on how to go about finding the most suitable end of life drugs that will alleviate her suffering. 

    It's a difficult road ahead but there is help and support available and good pain relief options which she will hopefully be given soon. I will now let other members of our community come and say hello and share their own insights with you based on their personal experiences. 

    Best wishes to you and your mum, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator