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I’m 17 and my dad is actively dying with cancer, I have no idea what to do about work.

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Me and my dad have had our problems he wasn’t great growing up but lately he’s been really great. 
I’m 17 but I work full time, my workplace is small but since my dads condition has updated I think that I need the time off of work because processing this news has been really difficult and seeing him in that state has been worse. Due to the size of the workplace I feel bad taking time off of work for this, also, due to poor mental health I have previously taken time off of work and received a warning. In my personal opinion, spending time with my dad and making sure that I am okay is my top priority right now but I think that I need reassurance to believe that I am making the right decision. 

Thank you for reading,

Yours sincerely, 

Rowanne :) 

  • Hi Rowanne,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm sorry to hear of the situation with your dad - this sounds like a lot to deal with and I hope you are getting on OK.

    I'm also sorry to hear your work haven't been too supportive previously. It sounds like you are making the right decision with this - time with your dad is important. If your work are supportive then they will understand. And if they're not then that will be a shame, but I think most people would understand that you are going through a lot and need to prioritise you and your family.

    I hope you're able to make your decision and feel comfortable with it, and in the meantime hopefully you'll get some more replies to your post from others on the forum soon, particularly if others with similar experience see your post.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi Rowanne,

    I am sorry to hear this news and I am sorry if you are sick of hearing that. Amazing support exists for everyone not just your dad so always reach out for help if needed. I am 21 and my dad is also dying with cancer so I have experienced similar work related concerns.

    Taking time off is absolutely the right thing to do if you need it! If your employer has a problem with that then they are the problem and you should perhaps seek work elsewhere in your own time. However, I think you will find your employer and colleagues will be more welcoming to your need for time off than you think, as they should be. You don’t need to feel bad for taking compassionate leave nor for the size of your workplace, they will cope. They likely put pressure on their employees (like yourself) to minimise time off purely for profit. All managers do it unless they are not very good managers.

    How much time you need off is down to you. Perhaps you can discuss a strictly temporary reduction in hours during your compassionate leave. Talking to your line manager directly in person is a good idea if you can so you can express how much it means to you.

    The decisions are yours.

    All the best,

    Chapers

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    Hi Rowanne,

    So sorry to hear about your Dad.
    i’m guessing by the size of the business that you won’t be in a union.
    In your position I’d probably write to your boss explaining the situation and explaining why your mind won’t be on job as much as I’d like. Keep a copy as insurance rvidence. 

    Goog luck!

    Dave

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