Myself included - My dad’s also at the palliative care stage primary Skin Cancer (spread to multiple organs) and it’s heartbreaking. He has always been the strong, independent person. Worked hard all his life, of a generation whom soldiered on and never complained. Being his carer for over 6 years I’m struggling with the fact he is now being beaten by this and I can’t help him this time. Seeing him fight with all he has left is crushing me. My heart goes out to you all.

We got Dad home on Wednesday afternoon by Ambulance - the discharge from Hospital was somewhat hurried - 2 hours earlier than originally told and literally being given bags of meds/paperwork and within half an hour out the door. What happened in the next 24 hours was without doubt the most painful/distressing experience that me my Mum and brother have ever experienced. Dad was extremely agitated, in pain and distressed. Having only eaten a yogurt and banana in the last week and occasional sips of water he spent the next 14 hours trying to get out of bed which took all 3 of us to try and keep him safe pretty much non stop throughout the night. On ringing the emergency fast track helpline we were told it was up to a 6 hour wait for help. After a 2 and a half  hour wait the nurse came and saw Dad in a 19 minute period where he had lied down in bed exhausted but she couldn’t administer any meds as he appeared‘comfortable’ - 10 minutes after she left he was trying to get up and out of bed again.  The GP came and looked at the driver meds mid morning said it was on the minimum dosage and clearly significantly below what should have been prescribed. we were luckily able to get the fast pall team in place much sooner than told and they took control quickly. They also got the meds sorted to the required dose and Dad had a very peaceful night and following day. We were also very lucky to have a Marie Curie sitter/nurse (extremely experienced) in for Friday night as well as we were all so exhausted. She kept watch and monitored Dad whilst also taking the time to talk to us ( we all still got up several times in the night tho!) Dad passed away peacefully on Saturday with all by his side at home.Mum and I both haven’t cried yet as such -  I feel numb like I’m encased in a protective shell. We also have questions with regard to med levels that the pall team and GP considered significantly below what was needed causing Dad and us undue distress. 
Sorry for  the long post - love you Dad RIP

I’m so sorry, nothing can prepare you for what you have been through. I’m not a religious person but I will say is he’s no longer in pain. It’s also lovely that he passed with you all by his side knowing you loved him and he loved you.

The next stage is pretty tough and you’ll go through all sorts of emotions trying to plan the perfect send off but if you need to vent just drop me a DM as I’ve literally been through it the last 5 week’s.

You’re also right to be seeking answers from the GP, no-one should have to suffer like that! 

I know you won’t feel like it right now but please do eat something, you’ll need fuel to get through the next few weeks. 

Take care

Chris x

I’m so sorry for your loss.  My dad lost his fight last Saturday and we’ve been in a complete nightmare. He came home in a similarly rushed discharge at 1pm and was dead by 8pm.  They refused a syringe driver saying he wasn’t poorly enough yet the pain he was in was unreal.  I honestly feel he was robbed of the last week of his life by the hospital he was in.  Not once was he pain free in there, it was chaotic at night (to the point he picked his pillows up one night and tried to sleep in a store cupboard, just to get some sleep).  He never got to sit in his gorgeous garden.  I have lodged a complaint with PALS, but they won’t uphold it unless my mum signs a consent form as she’s next of kin.  He’s still with the coroner, and we have to endure an inquest.  I’m finding it incredibly difficult.

love to you all x

I’m so sorry for your loss, no-one should have to go through what your dad has been through. My old man was never the same in hospital either! He started masking his pain so he wouldn’t have to go back as it was that bad! 

Here if you want to vent! This is the worst period for us having to get used to the ‘new’ normal after putting my dad to rest. I must have been on auto pilot for the funeral / wake / burial and it’s only starting to sink in. 

Thankyou so much for your kind words, my dad is still not out of the coroners, because he is classed as an industrial illness.  We need to grieve as a family but finding it impossible xx