I was given the awful news that I have pancreatic cancer about 8 weeks ago, and when I asked the consultant how long did I have to live the answer was anything up to 12 months. I have tried not to show to my wife or family how worried I am about it so that they were not suffering as much as I was in silence. We get a lot of help from the palliative nurses and my own family and friends have been wonderful in helping us when help was needed. The greatest concern I had was, would I be in a lot of pain while I was dying from this cancer and was told thatI I wouldn't be, but I still do have a lot of pain even though I have morphine pills two times per day and liqid morphine about once per day. I have constant back ache, and stomach ache. I seem to takea never ending cocktail of pills that don't seem to be helping me that much. I am losing my voice very slowly too. My wife is doing a wonderful job in caring for me as is the rest of my family, son, daughter, grandchildren, in laws and family friends. If I wasn't in so much pain most of the time and could get a good nights sleep I am sure I would feel so much better. I can't eat normal food any more and I am being fed on High Energy drinks 99% of the time and the biggest problem at the moment is being constipated most of the time which is proving difficult to overcome. I do wish that the UK law would allow people like me to be be put to sleep permanently if this is what they wanted. I have no fear of dying except dying in a lot of pain.
