Hello Michelle, I am so sorry for what you are going through.  My Mum died of cancer, so I really do know how you are feeling.  Here is the phone number for MacMillan: 0808-808-0000. If you call them they will listen to you and give you support.  If I might offer some advice?  Tell your Mum all the things that you want to say to her, and tell her how much you love her.  I deeply regret that I never told my Mum that I loved her, and we can't say these things when they are gone.  My thoughts are with you and your dear Mum Michelle, xx

Hi Blue-girl

Thank you for your reply, It means a lot..I will call the Macmillan number tomorrow morning,.I don't even know what to say, I feel numb. 

I'm so sorry to hear the passing of your mum and I am sure she knew how much you loved and cared for her. 

My mum is heavily sedated but I have held her hand and told her how much I love her..life can really be so cruel, I'm not ready to say goodnight just yet 

I hope you are doing ok xx

Hi Michelle.  My Mum died many years ago, but I can still remember how truly awful it was........it is something you don't forget.  Tell Macmillan what you have just told us here on this forum.....how heartbroken you are feeling and how you are not ready to let go of your Mum.  They are very kind and caring and I am sure that they will be able to offer you support.  And yes, as you say, life is VERY cruel sometimes..........I don't think that we are ever ready to lose the people we love, especially our Mums.......we seem to think that they will be here forever don't we? Also,  I don't think that we ever truly 'get over' losing the people we love, we somehow get through it.  What I can tell you is that eventually, that raw pain and grief you are feeling subsides in to a dull ache.  I still miss my Mum, but it no longer hurts like it once did.  Good luck Michelle, and once again, I am truly sorry for what you are going through, xx