Esophageal Cancer - nearing the end?

My normally strong, lovely dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in September and was given 6 months to live at that time. He was operated on to have a stent fitted, and then another inside that stent a month later. This was an awful time as the stents never took and he struggled to swallow so he had to have them taken out. He was then able to eat small amounts for a month or so and then was back in having another stent fitted as the tumor was pressing making it difficult to swallow. He has barely eaten anything since (that as February). He is declining rapidly and has lost around 6 stones, is unable to sit for any length of time as he gets too sore. He has a hospital bed in the house now and needs a wheelchair to take him from the livingroom to his bedroom as he has no strength to stand. His heart is strong although all other organs and muscles aren't. He sleeps more than he is awake. He coughs alot and struggles to clear his throat. I don't know what to do other than listen to him when he is able to speak (which isn't often). Spending my time at the moment just keeping him company but watching him is heartbreaking. I don't know what to say to him now as it hurts too much. I cannot imagine life without him. Does this sound as though his time with us is nearing an end?

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  • First of all SB76, may I say how sorry I am for what you and your Father are going through.  Sadly, it does sound as though your Dad is nearing the end.  I nursed my Mother through cancer, so I know the signs.  I believe that everyone deserves to hear the truth in these heartbreaking situations.  I remember when I was speaking with my Mum's Oncologist, and I said to him, "Doctor, please tell me the truth......is my Mum going to die?" and he simply said "yes".  If I might make a suggestion to you?  Tell your Dad how much you love him.  One of my biggest regrets is that I never told my Mum that I loved her.  It is too late to say these things when they are gone.  I hope I have not upset you by being so honest with you, but like I said, I believe that you deserve to be told the truth, and once again, so sorry for what you are going through, xx

  • Thank you for your kind words. I'm so sorry for your loss too. That must have been the most heartbreaking time for you. I hope you had lots of support around you to help ease the pain. I appreciate your honestly as this is all we have ever wanted from the start to know what to expect. I do tell dad every time I leave that I love him as I just never know what the next day will bring. Mum is trying to be so strong and helping him as much as she can. It's so hard watching him like this. He's not in pain but he's just suffering in other ways. Thank you again, I hope life is being kind to you now after everything you have been through x

  • Hello SB76.  Thank you for your kind words.  It is so nice of you to think of me when you and your family are going through so much yourselves.  I was my Mum's main carer because I was still living at home with her when she became ill.  It all happened so quickly........she became ill and was gone 6 weeks later.  To be honest, I didn't even have time to process the situation, because as I say, it all happened so quickly.  However, when I look back, I am so glad that my Mum didn't linger and suffer.  For a very long time, it didn't seem real.  For example, sometimes I would be in work and I would go to phone my Mum and then I would realise that she is no longer there.  It is never easy to lose someone we love, and losing a parent is one of the biggest losses we will ever face in life, but I very much believe that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.  You sound like you have a wonderful family and you will be able to support each other through this nightmare.  I am sending hugs to you and your lovely Mum and Dad.  Stay strong.  xx  

  • Big hugs to you to Blue-girl, I should have said that in my recent replies.  Your positivity is wonderful and will help so much.  Sorry for all you have been through.  Its the price we all pay for love,  No one can take away our beautiful memories.  Take care x

  • Thank you so much Leigh60, much appreciated, xx

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