Death rattle or patient struggling to breathe and live?

Hello, yesterday, my beautiful mum passed away; she had a very bad irregular heartbeat, which we believe was down to anxiety;, we asked for anxiety medication, and we couldn’t get it. We waited an hour for the doctor, and the heart rate went over 200 beats. She wasn’t ready to die, but we did not want to see her suffer after the hour she was exhausted ,there was a buildup of fluid. It sounded like her lungs; they did not give her any diuretics then we were told the only solution was to provide end-of-life care; they took all the monitors off, and then for five or six hours, we had my mum with the loudest, death rattle, or struggling to breathe and live   you could hear 59 meters away , it sounded to me like she wanted to live, we were not given the option for her to live and she took her last breaths after six hours of what seemed like fighting to live. I’m devastated. I don’t know what to think or what to do; I feel like the medical profession just wants to kill off older adults. My mum had a tiny tumour, but she had a lung collapse, and they refused to treat it with diuretics. They said she was too weak for any treatment, even though need to release the pressure of the fluid would not have harmed her, t feel like my mum was killed and that we were party to it by allowing end-of-life treatment. I don’t know what to do or what to think. my mum was 80, but she was full of the life she wanted to live, and I don’t think she was given a chance. Has anyone else had this experience of neglect and pain

  • Hi Sammy,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and what you have been through with this. This sounds incredibly difficult and I'm sure it must be a lot to process, with lots of questions.

    It's of course difficult to advise on the decisions or suggestions that were made regarding your mum's care. Hopefully you have the opportunity, if you would like to, to discuss this with those involved soon.

    If you feel you have questions or any grievances, you can also get in touch with the hospital's PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) team. It may take some time to come to terms with what has happened, and to decide what you would like to do, if anything.

    You are also welcome to give our nurses a call if you feel you'd like to talk things through. You can reach them on 0808 800 4040 - Monday-Friday, 9-5.

    Otherwise, if others here have similar experience or thoughts to offer then hopefully you'll get some more replies soon.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator