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Devastated

Georgiew
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I was told a few month ago I way terminal at the age of 45. I have up to 2 years ( if I’m lucky) of life left . I have a 14 year old son and a 11 year old autistic daughter. I haven’t told them yet but I know I have to .

I can’t seem to find and counselling for them for when I do , I’m so worried about them not getting the right support . Surly they will need this kind of support and for after I’m gone . 

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    Hi Georgiewhite,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am so sorry to hear of your heart breaking situation. Have you spoken to your cancer nurses about this? They should be able to give you some helpful advice both about how to break the news to your children and how to find the most appropriate counselling for their ages. Do you have a Macmillan Centre in your hospital? They can give you advice of what support is available and where to go for counselling. They also provide advice on how to break the news to them and how to prepare them for loss.  They also provide some useful books and resources, which are listed on this website Sue Ryder also offer support for children. The children's school can also arrange this, but I'm not too sure how specific their advice would be to cancer.

    If you have access to the internet you will find this page helpful.( Preparing a child for loss | Macmillan Cancer Support)  You can also contact them by phone - Tel:-  0800 808 0000

    Do you have the support you need from family and friends yourself?  If you have a Maggies Centre near you? They offer free counselling for those with life limiting illness and their families. It can be helpful to pop in for a cuppa and a chat with others, in a similar position. They are dotted throughout the UK and you will find your nearest on on-line.

    Cruse Bereavement Services also offer support to bereaved children (Referring children and teenagers (cruse.org.uk) )   Tel:- 0808 808 1677

    Thinking of you and I hope that some of these suggestions help. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kindest regards,

    Jolamine xx

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    Dear Georgiewhite, 

    I’m so sorry to hear of your situation. As a teacher, I would suggest that you speak to the pastoral lead at school. They will want to be there to support your children throughout this journey and will be able to direct you to the right support. You can also ask them to keep in touch with you to see how they are coping. It may be that there is a staff member that your children get on with particularly well. If so, tell the school and  ask if they could be made aware of your situation and provide support.

    Thinking of you and hoping that you have many fun times to cherish with your children

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