Hello Ashley

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis and the situation that you find yourselves in at the moment. 

We often get people post about how their struggles when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer and I usually reply with a question. If your best friend came to you with this scenario, what would you say to them? I suspect that you would be kind and supportive, reassuring them that they weren't being horrid and encouraging them to seek some support. It's easy to do that for other people but not always so easy to do for ourselves. 

If you take a step back and look at your situation you might be able to see all that you've been dealing with these past few years. Mum's initial diagnosis and treatment. The relief when she was told she was disease-free. Then the bombshell last year that the cancer had returned and was incurable. Once again the relief that comes with the fact the treatment she's been given means she is currently stable but then the underlying concern that things will, at some point, begin to change again. You're now approaching Mum's initial prognosis of 12 months and this will likely be adding to your stress levels even if it is subconsciously. You've also had major life changes to juggle with your Mum now living with you and you taking on more of a caring role and of course the wonderful news that you're expecting a baby. If you weigh all of those things up Ashley ... it is a lot. 

Riding such an emotional rollercoaster for so long, I'm not surprised that you're having moments where you're overwhelmed and things spill over. What support have you got in place, Ashley? Is there someone that you have been able to talk with about how you're feeling and some of the concerns and worries that you may have? 

It's great that you've reached out to the Cancer Chat community here and I'd really encourage you to seek some additional support. Talking things through with your GP could be a good starting point and certainly letting your Midwife know about all that you're juggling is not a bad idea either. You might want to reach out to a charity such as Maggie's which can offer support to people impacted by a cancer diagnosis. We do have some information on our website that you might find helpful about taking care of yourself and if you'd like to talk with one of our nurses for some advice and support you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. 

It may also be a good idea to have a proper chat with your Mum. Talk through some of the concerns that you both have and work towards putting a plan in place so that you can both have that quality Mother-Daughter time with less anxiety about some of the background issues. 

Undoubtedly this is a difficult time for you both. You're welcome to keep posting here on the forum if it helps to have somewhere to share how you're feeling. We'll do our best to support you. 

Sending you both my best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator