Cancer Research UK main site

Tongue Cancer

Busybee123
Offline

Hello. 
my grandad was diagnosed in late October with mouth cancer, a couple of weeks ago he had surgery to remove the tumour and some of his lymph nodes and everything since then seemed to be going well. The surgeon even visited him a few days ago and told him he was making “excellent progress”. 
Today we have received the bad news that the cancer has spread (although we don’t know where to) and he has been given a prognosis of 6-12 months to live. 
I find I do not cope well with loss and this will be the first time seeing a family member dying from cancer and I am so upset and scared. 
I am currently trying to finish my university degree and I know my grandad would not want me to let this stop me but I feel as though I will feel guilty for not being there all the time? 
I don’t really know the point of this post except from someone who has maybe been through this to offer words of comfort. 
Thank you for taking the time to read this. <3

  • Hello Busybee123

    I'm so sorry to hear about the news your Grandad received earlier this week. understandably it's a difficult time for you all at the moment. 

    I know we've had members post here previously who have been at university when a loved one has been given a cancer diagnosis and always the advice given by other community members is that the loved one would want them to continue with their studies and fulfill their dreams. 

    It might be a good idea to have a talk with your personal tutor to let them know about your news so that they can support you with your studies over the coming months and let you know what additional support may be available to you such as counselling. 

    Try not to bottle things up but talk with family members and friends; it's easier to manage distressing thoughts and feelings when we don't allow them to overwhelm us. 

    You're welcome to post here on the forum if it helps to have somewhere to share your thoughts and feelings. I know the community will do their best to offer support. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Hi Jenn,

    Thank you for your reply and comforting words. 
    He was brought home today, so he seems to have perked up a bit when I was speaking to him. 
    I’m going to speak to my tutor as soon as uni reopens and hopefully I can request my next placement is closer to his house due to the circumstances. 
    I am glad to have discovered this community which I can openly share my thoughts and feelings. 
    thank you again <3

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.