Pancreatic cancer

hi there, i’m very new to this so excuse the messiness of my question !!

my stepdad has been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, which has the lowest survival rate. the doctors are keeping everything very hush hush and keep saying “let’s just focus on managing his pain”, and are even speaking of discharging him.

i’m 18, and go to uni in a different country than where my mum and stepdad are, therefore i cant see them whenever i’d like.

how do you accept that a loved one is going to die and how do i deal with the fact my mother is going to be alone, grieving. i keep thinking of what happens when he dies, she’ll be a widow so young. how can i deal with this? 

apologies for the mini vent i’m just so overwhelmed by cancer and it’s implications. 

  • Hi pardis,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm sorry to hear of the situation with your stepdad, I understand this must be incredibly difficult.

    It sounds like you're still waiting to hear all the information about what's going on, so I hope you're able to get that soon in order to understand potential next steps.

    Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to feel or do certain things. You can support your mother by keeping in touch, and I'm sure they all know you are there for them, even if the distance is large.

    Keep looking after yourself too, and take things slowly - one day at a time.

    Hopefully you'll receive some more replies here soon, from others on the forum who may see your post and may have similar experience or advice to offer.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Cancer Chat Moderator