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Esophogeal cancer. Mum 61 and dying.

julz10
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I wrote to this forum last year. My mum is 61 and dying from esopheagel cancer. 

diagnosed in November and give 3-6 months. She has lived with me in till last week receiving at home care.  until December she was on A driver with Levo in it that made her worse. came off all meds in January with a Slight improvement and been deterioting since then. 

went to hospice last week for "symptom management" 

they said today  there now was nothing more they can do and mum just wants to be made comfortable. 

devastated doesn't even cover it. The amount she has suffered is unbarable. I cry myself to sleep each night. She's been sick constantly since her stent was fitted in November and all our time together had been burdened with chronic sickness. I am beyond heartbroken and don't see this as anything other than the cruelest thing in the whole world. 

Doctors are now saying weeks at the most if the steroids they have given as last resort help . Less of they don't. 

absolutely heartbroken 34 year old daughter with 2 year old son. Please someone tell me it gets better 

  • I'm so sorry to hear this Julz.

    I really wish there was something I could say or do that could make this better but unfortunately I can't. What I can tell you though is that our community are here for you and I hope you can take some comfort from knowing that you are not alone at this very difficult time.

    I'm sure some of our members who have been through this with their loved ones will be along soon to offer their support and advice, but I hope this information we have on what may happen in the last few weeks and days will help as well. It can be a challenging and very emotional read so do only look through it if/when you feel ready to do so.

    We're thinking of you Julz and sending all our strength your way.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi Julz

    I am so sorry to hear this and my prayers are with you and your family.

    I lost my father in 2013 the same way at 67 years old, my mum was told she has a few months left 4 weeks ago.

    She was stage 1b last June and full of hope.

    Devastated is exactly how I feel knowing she doesn't have long, our own journeys with our mum are so special and unique and nothing compares to it.

    I hope knowing there are others like you going through these similar kinds of thoughts and feelings gives you some comfort.

    Try to take a day at a time and not think forward of the future, focus on giving as much love and support as you can to your dear mum, make every moment count as that is what our mums need. 

    For their children to give them that love and be there is what will mean most to them now x 

    Always here should you want to message. Take care xxx

     

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    Hi Julz,

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I think we can just make our mums as comfortable as possible, reassure them that we will be okay, and make memories with them. My mum is 62 and has stage 4 osephagus cancer metastasised to her liver, abdomen, stomach. She is currently in the hospice for symptom control. She was diagnosed in January 2023, and I'm not sure how long she has left. I am an only child and I'm 26 years old. I also cry everyday, I scared too. I am here for you if you would like to chat. 
     

    this cancer is extremely cruel my mum spends her day and night coughing up mucus and cannot retain water either 

  • Offline in reply to brinax

    Hi,

    I am so sorry you're also going through this. 
     

    mum passed away last Tuesday (9th of May) 20 days after going into the hospice for symptom management. Shortly after entering hospice she lost her eye sight and they thought it was the tumour spreading. For the last 7 days she didn't eat at all and the last 5 she didn't drink fluid or verbally resond to us other than head nods and head shakes. She slept the majority of the time but was fairly peaceful. So complained of pain a couple of times and this was quickly sorted with morphine. 
     

    it was nothing short of horrific and the breathing noises she made for her last few hours will stay with me for the rest of my life as will the hole she has left in our lives. 
     

    I'll be forever grateful to have had her as a mother. The grief is overwhelming but at the same time she is now at peace 

     

    x

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