Hi Jessi,

I'm very sorry about your mum's diagnosis. 

I have sadly been in a similar situation with my Father. We found out September last year that the back pain he had was advanced cancer and we lost him two months later. Prior to diagnosis my dad was incredibly active and no other symptoms. GP, physio all told us it was age related (70). We had been on holiday two months prior. 

It was very chaotic when my dad was diagnosed as he deteriorated rapidly. My mum and I cared for my dad but we did have input from services like McMillan and district nurses later on. We were given not indication of time scales or what to expect when my dad was ill. Hopefully you will be given some indication of next steps and any support that is available. 

Xx

I can relate  my mum was diagnosed with a rare aggressive terminal cancer nearly a year ago which has spread to her brain. 
For me finding out was the worst, first two months couldn't function / wanted to die, now mostly functioning and see a future but it's still awful.
A few times I've thought were past the point of no return then treatment has helped her rally.

Regret and guilt is a standard part of grief that I think we all feel, I expect the reality is you hsvr nothing to feel guilty about. 

Sending you a big hug. 
 

Hi Jessi,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through. I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer, which had spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs. It sounds as if your mum is in a similar position. This is aparticuarly hard time for you, but you will find the strength to see it through.

Are you aware that doctors cannot tell you anything about your mum's medical condition without her agreement? This is due to Data Protection legislation. The only way that they can disclose information otherwise, is if the relative has Power of Attorney. If you want to know a time frame, you would need to ask this question outright. Even if you do get an answer, it is at best a 'guesstimate', as it is impossible to predict this accurately.

Don't worry about the crying, as tears are a good stress reliever. However, try to be as strong as you can when you are with your mum - we all find hidden strengths at this stage.

I am thinking of you both.

Please keep in touch and remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Lulu,

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your father so soon after his diagnosis. My father-in-law was 97, when he complained of excrutiating back pain. After 5 visits to his GP and being told that it was just Arthritis, he was referred to the Day Hospital for assessment. Within 2 hours of being admitted, we were informed that his body was riddled with cancer and he had only 2-3 weeks to live. Sadly, he only lasted for 5 days.

I am so glad to hear that you managed to get that care free holiday with your father,  before he was diagnosed and I sincerely hope that this has given you some happier memories to look back on.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Diddy,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear about your mum's state of health. As you will see from my reply to Jessi, I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer and I know just how hard it was to cope with everything. Accepting a terminal diagnosis, is a bit like coming to terms with grief, but I'm glad to hear that you are functioning a little better these days. We all seem to find  that hidden strength from somewhere.

Is your mum at home and do you have any help or support? Being there for her on this journey, is probably the most difficult thing that you will ever do in life, but I'm sure that it is invaluable for your mum to have you there.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Please keep in touch and remember, that we are always here for you both.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Diddy,

The past two weeks must have been tough for you. I can fully appreciate this. When my mum was nearing her end, I was travelling between two countries. I could only visit at weekends, when I wasn't working and I was terrified that she would pass when I wasn't there, or couldn't get a flight to be there in time. In the last few weeks, I decided to stay with her and was so glad to be with her at the end.

I am so glad to hear that you have a lot of family support at home and that you are all there for one another. It is difficult to accept that there is no more that can be done for your mum. Have you had a visit from the palliative care team yet? There is a lot that they can do, to make things easier for all of you.

Thinking of your mum, you and your family. Please keep in touch and remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx