Hi,

I lost my dad just these last couple of weeks after he got his terminal diagnosis 4 months ago; Oesophical cancer. 

He was my best friend, companion and we had a bond like no other. I'm not sure ill ever accept that his presence is now replaced with a hole in my heart, but I take much comfort in knowing that I spent as much time with him as I coul in the final months and have years of memories to hold onto. 

I am so so sorry to you and your family that you have also been affected by this terrible disease. Its okay to cry and grieve now if your body is telling you to, this is anticipatory greif which I had also.

I worried about my mum too. It was just her, me and my dad - none else. My mother too struggles with her own ailments and mental health. It has been hard, but it has brought her and me closer which I know dad would be pleased to know. As krysnik says, its incredible how people can adapt. My mum is doing better than I imagined, and while I will need to return to my home and resume my work in the next few weeks, we have been making plans for visits and travels to keep us both looking towards the future. My dad too led in the friendships and we worried we would become isolated, but upon hearing of his death, we have recieved my support from them than we imagined. I hope this is the case for you too. 

It isnt easy, and it hurts, and it isnt fair, but you will be alright, take it from someone who was in your shoes not that long ago. You and your family will learn to adapt to a new version of life without your dad. I pray that you dont have to for a very long time though and he keeps going as long as he can. Noone can really say how long anyone has for sure, so keep encouraging him to do as much as he can. You will all be receiving unparralled support from the nurses, doctors and carers who visit periodically thorughout the journey, and when I say they are incredible they truely are. You are never alone and never will be, there is always support on offer. 

If you feel the best thing for you to do, to spend time with your mum and dad and, most importantly, give yourself the time to process this and grieve is to put your studies on hold there is no shame in doing so. Just make sure its the right choice for you. Make use of the university student support centre and speak with your lecturers about whats happening you you feel you can/want to. They are the best people to make sure you receive the support and guidence you need with your studies during this hard time.

Always here if you want to chat, I hope this may have if anything let you know your not alone, what your feeling is normal, and you will be okay. May God bless you all with peace and strength. 

Hi

You are clearly a caring and conscientious young person. The way you are thinking about the needs of those around you really shows your character. Maybe speak to somebody at the university to see if they have any support for students in your situation. They may have therapy you can access, you need to take care of you too!

Also in regards to your mum and brother reach out to macmillan or social services there must be some help available. Do you have any extended family or good friends around that could support your mum? 

My mum joined the WI when my dad got his diagnosis for the exact reason that they become such a package deal she had none of her own friends or interests and that's really helped her.