Hi all,

Just looking for some words of comfort or advice really. My poor Dad was dx with lung cancer at the end of September after experiencing chest pain. Just over a week after that he was admitted to hospital with confusion and difficulty breathing. He was treated for a chest infection but we also found out that his cancer had spread into the brain. Now not more than 5 weeks later he's just gone into a hospice for end of life care. We had tried desperately to care for him at home but we wore ourselves out in the process. The hospice is lovely but now I'm not actively caring for him I suddenly have too much time to process everything. We are visiting daily and it is so heartbreaking to see him so poorly and I feel so guilty everytime I leave him there (our local hospice is about an hours drive away and I have young children so visiting is restricted by this).

Anyway I just wondered how people cope with the limbo of the end stages? He's not my dad anymore - it has taken so much of him away so I feel like I am grieving already but he's still here and I have to find the strength every day to see him so ill. When I am at home I have a constant fear of the phone ringing and can't relax. I can't work or make any plans. I know isn't forever but it all feels so daunting right now!