Hi 

my big brother is near the end with terminal bowel cancer & is now just being made comfortable. We live at opposite ends of the country & I spent a week with him recently which to be honest I thought might be the last time that I physically saw him. He is married & our other sibling lives near by so has been there throughout his treatment. This might seem selfish but I really don't want to witness him taking his last breath & would rather remember him as I currently do. I also think that he wouldn't want me to be there but without him actually being physically able to say so I'm just surmising. Should I be guilt tripped into going to see him even though I know this will traumatise me. I have already witnessed other relatives dying & know how these experiences have affected me. If I knew for definite that my brother wanted me to be present then I would do it for him.