My dad has had a heart condition for the last 18 months which he has been waiting for an operation for. He was so desperate to have the TAVI surgery that he would mention to me everyday (I live with him) about it, he really didn't want the open heart surgery.
The other day my dad went to a hospital to chat to the heart surgeon, like a pre-op meeting, but as soon as they saw my dad come in the room in the wheelchair the conversation changed. We, including my dad, assumed his walking issues were due to the heart failure that was getting worse as he had been on a waiting list so long. But the doctors sent him for an MRI as they said the heart shouldn't cause these issues. They found bleeding on the brain and marks. Then today they sent him for a full body scan. They found multiple cancers in his body which are incurable. Sadly I was unable to see my dad as he has COVID too so they have him locked down in a ward, no phone either. The doctor said he has told my dad they found cancer, but I have no idea if he knows it is terminal. I will demand to speak to my dad by phone tomorrow somehow, he has always found mobile phones hard to use so tends not to use them and the ward doesn't seem to have ward phones by the beds. I managed to hand the ward nurse his belongings at least, just so sad I couldn't see him.
Myself, my mum and sister were told the bad news about the cancer out in the corridor outside the ward by the neurologist. I don't blame the doctor for this, he seemed a very nice and caring guy, it wasn't said cold or uncaring, I presume being Saturday there was just no where to go in the hospital and he was incredibly busy. My mum (his wife) already had an idea it would be bad news as she was told on the phone before we visited that they had found something on the scan. But it has all left me very shellshocked. I tried to soak in as much as I could listening to the doctor but I have already forgotten so much as I was trying to take in the terminal cancer diagnosis which floored me, and wasn't sure what happens next.
I am fairly sure I heard him say he has passed my dad on to an oncologyst, but I didn't hear anything about chemo or raidiotherapy. I asked how long does he have and I was just told it isn't very good, I presume that means weeks, he asked about resuscitation and if my dad would want that. I just feel so bad and sad for my dad, he only thought he had treatable heartfailure, and ends up with terminal cancer too, I have no idea if he has been told it is terminal as we haven't been able to see or speak to him today. When the doctor assumed it was a stroke yesterday before the scans, I was desperate for it not to be, I would give anything for it to be a stroke now instead of terminal cancer.
From what I can remember the multiple cancer is in his brain and lungs. I am not sure which is secondary and which came first. I asked about the chance of an operation but was told it is in multple places in his brain so can't be operated on. I don't know the reasons why this means they can't be operated on but I guess there is a reason.
Sorry, it is 3am and my mind is racing desperate for answers and hope, I will wonder why I posted this message tomorrow as there is nothing anyone can do. I just hate the fact I have not spoken to him today and also wonder what happens next. I may need this forum in the coming weeks, I am so thankful such a place exists. It is incredible sad to read about so many people in a similar situation, if only cancer had a cure.
