Welcome to the Cancer Chat community Sonofanangel although I'm very sorry to hear your mum has stage 4 cancer. I can't begin to imagine how tough this must be for you both.

It's completely understandable, and natural, to experience a wide range of thoughts and feelings when finding out someone you love and care about has cancer but I hope this information and advice will help you find ways to cope with these difficult emotions.

You're also very welcome to talk things through with our team of cancer nurses on 0808 800 4040. Their phone lines are open Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m and they'll do all they can to support you.

I know there isn't much I can do or say that can make this any easier but our forum is filled with so many people who know what you are going through so you are not alone and I'm sure you will receive a lot of support and advice from our community soon.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi, 

Im so sorry to hear that

I've just been through it with my mam was absolutely awful and the whole thing went so fast over the course of 6 weeks. I'm still in total shock at the moment she passed away yesterday morning nothing feels real. She went into hospital 6 weeks ago as she didnt feel too good her oxygen levels were low and her heart rate was sky high she got told she had severe pnuemonia so got started on antibiotics but 4 days later they said the infection was not clearing as quickly as they hoped so they requested a ct scan. Everything went downhill after that she got told she had lung cancer metastasis to the liver. We spoke with the consultant and he said there was options but had to clear the infection first but after 2 weeks it didn't clear and we got told the cancer had basically took over and she had weeks left to live. We brought her home after a 3 week stay in hospital and she passed away exactly 3 weeks after we got told. She had lost a lot of weight too she was a shadow of herself. One thing that brings me comfort is that shes out of any pain now she really struggled with breathlessness specially the last couple of days, was awful to watch and feel so helpless. My mam was my bestest friend I was so close to her I really don't know how im going to go on without her she was only 57. I am totally heart broken things will never be the same. 

I hope your mum has options and she can atleast give it a go. My mam unfortunately was far too poorly for them to do anything about it. 

Take care

Mandy

My heart goes out to you in this horribly tragic time for you and your family. Sometimes there just aren't words to truely grip and describe how we feel and this is one of those times.  Our parents shall always be with us as we are part of them, I hope you are able to find peace yourself soon I really do and sorry again.

Thankyou for your quick reply and kind words much appreciated. That is exactly it, I just feel numb nothing seems real im just in a daze. She had so much left to live for its crazy to think rewind back to May she was fit as a fiddle working full time and a picture of health just shows you never know whats round the corner its just awful. 

How's your mum? 

My mum is currently in hospital (this seems to be a weekly visit) as her stoma bag is blocked possibly by cancer growth and scar tissue. She's always tired and irritable which is understandable and I think hospital feels like a relief to her personally as she knows she's getting the professional care and attention she won't get at home. The cancer keeps causing fluid to build up on her lung and now stomach which they keep draining but the drs are hopeful chemo will lessen this in the future. 

Is it colorectal cancer? When did she get her stoma? Inhoep she gets some relief whole in hospital. 

My husband will have his surgery in about 5 weeks. Will have to have a  stoma. I am quite anxious about it. 

Hello, it's Breast cancer which spread through to the stomach. She over came breast cancer many years ago however this time is mutated into a different form. She's had the stoma quite a few months and has to be careful what she eats, she's had some trouble keeping the bags on and with leakage which just adds to her frustration 

Oh, ok. So sorry to hear this has been going on for quite some time. I can imagine her frustrations with stoma, yeah. I've read a kot about it but dont have experience with it.

It's a big change to peoples lives, a very personal change but not everyone will have as many problems as my mum has had with her stoma. I wish your husband the best