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Mums is having palliative care and now is unresponsive

Alphawhiskey
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I am finding it hard all round since my mums started palliative care for her terminal mestatic lung cancer 

as of today the syringe driver has been up to 70mg of morphine and she has also been administered midazikam that they plan to insert in her driver also tomorrow 

since receiving the midazikam today she is more settled but unresponsive 

is this the end ? Is this sedation ? Will I get to speak to her again it's all so over whelming and at the same time I just would love her to be out of pain 

anyone with similar experiences? 

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    Hello Alphawhiskey, I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I have walked in your shoes so I really do understand.  I have lost so many family and friends to cancer, and there are usually definite signs that the end is near, such as they start sleeping a lot, they don't want to eat and what they do eat is very little.  Please don't feel guilty that you want your Mum's pain to end.........when my Mum was dying, she was in a lot of discomfort and as much as I wanted to hold on to her, I also wanted her to be free from all of it.  If you are able to speak with your Mum, tell her everything you want her to know, how much you love her and all of the lovely memories you have shared.  Even if she is unconscious, still say these things because it is quite likely that she can hear you.   Once again, so sorry for what you are going through, Violet, x

  • Offline in reply to Violetgirl

    Thanks so much for your reply 

    it's so sad as I feel I spend her last moments looking for signs that this is it rather than just being content with her 

    what a cruel disease I am sorry u have lost so many people to it also 

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    I am really sorry about your Mum.

     

    I remember my Mum being very similar as you describe and for her, yes, that was right at the end. The last conversation I had with her before that was the last time we spoke. 

    Once she became unresponsive how you describe she didn't last long and didn't become conscious again.

    However, I have read other stories where their experience was entirely different. 

     

    I remember the last day with my Mum very clearly and I feel guilty that I spent much of that day waiting for it to end. But, like violetgirl said, it's about wanting the suffering to end. We were all with her and spoke to her throughout that day. 

    I'm sorry you and your mother are going through this. I'll be thinking of you. 

     

     

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