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My uncle passed away from cancer within 3 days of diagnosis

Fr0g13
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My uncle had been stubborn all of his life, never going to the doctors even when very ill. He had quit smoking 10 years prior and ever since has had problems with his breathing, on last Friday he went for a walk and when coming back he found it very hard to breath, more so than normal. He asked for an ambulance to be called ao he must have been in a lot of pain, then he seemed to do well in hospital. On the Monday he was given medication and then started bleeding from the back, this worried the doctors so they gave him tests to see what was wrong. On Wednesday his results were back, he unfortunately he was diagnosed with terminal bowel and stomach cancer, and there was nothing that could be done as he was too weak.

 

He got to go home on the Friday and have palliative care from these lovely carers, we went to visit him this Saturday, he could barely speak, just small whispers. He was so weak and unfortunately hours after seeing him he wasn't strong enough anymore, he became agitated, his breathing was getting slower and slower. He passed away the same day later in the night.
 

I'm in total shock, my dad had phoned him two weeks before he passed and he could speak, and then on the Monday he was in hospital he had spoke to my dad via text. I just don't understand how he went so quickly? Maybe I just don't want to believe it, he even said on the phone to my dad that he has known for some time that he feels like his time is up? He must of had this cancer for some time. 
 

It's so heartbreaking, my dad said him passing has been harder than when his mum passed 25 years ago, and will never get Uber his brother dying, since he was a father figure to him since his dad died when he was very young. Seeing him crying makes me feel so sad since I can't bring him back for him. I hope he is in heaven with his parents, cats and dogs, hopefully they greeted and waited for him. 

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    Hi Fr0g13

    This will have been a huge shock for you all, but it sounds very much as if this was the way your Uncle wanted to do things with as little medical intervention as possible. He may even have had some inkling 10 years previously, which caused him to give up those fags.

    As you say, I hope he is now with some of those dear to him, cats and dogs included. 

    Sometimes when there is a shock like this, we do not feel the full force of it immediately. Be aware there may be a deep outpouring from within which may strike unexpectedly even many months later. 

    Given how much his brother meant to him being a father figure as well as a brother, your father may need specialist bereavement support at some point. Crying is good because it helps process emotions. 

    Sending you a virtual hug. Situations like this are heartbreaking when there is so little time to say goodbye. But, I think your Uncle didn't want you or your father to suffer, wanting to spare you all the worry there might have been knowing he was ill. I think he meant it as a kindness. Hold tight to that final thought. It's a good one. 

  • Hello Fr0g13,

    I'm very sorry to hear about your uncle and want to pass on my condolences on behalf of everyone at Cancer Chat. If you need any infomation there is some here, which I hope will be useful for you. There's also the Cruse breavement helpline if you or your dad need to speak to someone. You can call on 0808 808 1677 and opening hours are here.

    I can imagaine it's hard to see your dad so sad, but I'm sure you're doing your best to support him. Grief can affect people differently so it's important to talk to each about how you're feeling.

    I hope this helps in some way,

    Moderator Anastasia 

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