My dear Hannah, my heart breaks for you.  My Norman fought to the end and it was the most awful thing to watch.  Ask the district nurse if they can help, they should be on 24 hour call out, I didn't hesitate if Norman was in distress and they came when I rang.  You need some help and the only way is to ask or demand it.  Here if you need to talk.  Carol xx

Hi carol

thank you for your message...im sirry to hear you went through that. The nurses takr ages to come. Wr got 2 syringe drivers put in and its still not relaxing her...this is the most awful horrific death after 7 months of hell. When will it end

Dear Hannah,

I'm so sorry to hear what you and your mother are going through.  I lost my own mother to cancer last Saturday, and like yours she was fighting right until 2 days before she passed away.  She was very restless, moaning and reaching out her hand to me, but she was in a semi sleep.

The nurse told me to tell her to let go and give her permission to go,  she said that they won't go until they are ready and comfortable to let go.  So, I know it sounds strange, and if you haven't already done this, tell her it's ok to let go and that you understand that it is her time to leave.  I did this with my mother and she detoriated pretty quickly after this. 

Thinking kind thoughts, I was in your shoes a week ago and I know it's the most difficult thing to deal with.  I hope you both find peace soon xx

Hi fezza,

Thank you for responding, im so sorry to hear about your mum passing. This week has been by far the worst of my life, mums terrified expression and cries and screams will forever remain in my memory.  

We are getting injections whenever she wakes up as she is in a constant state

Im scared to tell her to go incase it scares her..shes terrified

:cry:

Hannah, it sounds so distressing for you both, I'm so sorry.  I just said to my mother 'you can let go now, and I'm here holding your hand, and I love you'  It may not work if your mother is in a distressed state, I know they gave my mother something via injection to relax her in addition to the pain relief and it made her sleep.  Hopefully, the injections help.  Once the 'death rattle' started last Friday, my mother only lasted 24 hours so it could happen quite quickly for your mother too.

I don't know about you, but I didn't envisage the last days to be like this, I don't think you're ever prepared for it.  But, take comfort from the fact you are there for her, and doing the best you can.

Sending strengh xx

Dear Alison,

I am sorry about the loss of your dear mother, I remember your kindness and comforting words when I joined this forum when I lost my mum to this cruel disease. You're right, she is now at peace, she doesn't have cancer anymore nor any of the pain or the other ailments that come with it.

The other day, my mum came to me in a visitation dream. I never remember dreams but I remember this, she was smiling and she looked happy and she said hello to me - I do believe she is looking over us and she is now in a better place than the one she left. I am sending you strength and hope that you will come through this, take care.

Dear Alison,

I am sorry about the loss of your dear mother, I remember your kindness and comforting words when I joined this forum when I lost my mum to this cruel disease. You're right, she is now at peace, she doesn't have cancer anymore nor any of the pain or the other ailments that come with it.

The other day, my mum came to me in a visitation dream. I never remember dreams but I remember this, she was smiling and she looked happy and she said hello to me - I do believe she is looking over us and she is now in a better place than the one she left. I am sending you strength and hope that you will come through this, take care.

Dear Carlos,

Thank you so much for your condolences and for taking the time to message me. It is a massive relief that my mother is at peace now. She was lucky that she didn't seem to be in a great deal of pain at the end and didn't require a syringe driver. The worst thing was her restlessness but my aunt and I were with her and reassured her that she was safe and could let go. I believe that she's now reunited with my dad and is happy. 
 

Things are pretty raw but I've found some comfort sorting out pictures for the funeral it's so nice looking back to when she was younger and happy, it's how I want to remember her. 

Take care, Alison