When is the end? Mum now sleeping more and hardly speaking

Hi

I have been nursing my mum at home for the last 3 weeks but in the last few days she has deteriorated from being weight bearing getting in out of bed to use the commode to now sleeping all the time with the occasional few verbal words. She isn't drinking but has the occasional sips of water

she has a syringe driver and was catheterised for comfort yesterday but she's having a lot of breakthrough pain so the driver is being increased today.

I Feel so sad and to be honest guilty as I don't want this to go on as she is so uncomfortable when I move her

is the end near ?

  • Hi, and first of all let me say how sorry I am for what you are going through.  I also nursed my mother in her last days of cancer and to answer your question, yes, your mum's time is near.  Please try not to feel guilty that you want your mother's discomfort to come to an end, because I felt exactly the same way about my mum.........on the one hand, I did not want to lose her, but on the other hand, I did not want her to suffer any more.  It takes an incredible amount of Love when you are prepared to put aside your own feelings of wanting your Mum to remain with you, and instead feel that you would rather release her knowing that she will be free and at peace.  Your Mother is about to go on a journey, and you can take comfort in the fact that you have been there for her when she needed you the most.  xx

  • I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I can not actually say exactly when someone is near the end of life. All I can say my experience with my brother he was 50 when he passed away. They say when someone stops eating and drinking. It's because they are close to dying. My brother had a syringe driver. Much my my annoyance. I spent all day Tuesday with my brother he was laughing and chatting. Away he said a couple of times sorry but I have to go sleep now. I stayed talking to his wife and my 2 nieces he woke and seemed fine. He asked his wife for a drink. Then he accidentally dropped it. It was a accident only my brother did have cancer on the brain and various other parts of his body. The following day when I went to see him my sister in law had said something about pain. So in went through syringe driver. It had been already fitted by the time I got there on thy Wednesday he was completely knocked out he never opens his eyes again arfter the diver had been put in 5 days later from having the syringe driver fitted he passed away on the Sunday. So unfortunately once the syring bribed as been fitted you are looking at day nog weeks literally days my love. Again I am extremely sorry about your mum. I only hope she as a very peaceful death. I know at the end for my brother. He sat up in pain fortunately it wasn't for long. What made him sit up he was trying to reach out at Simone. I grabbed his hand and he squeezed so hard it was because his kidneys were closing down. He psssed from the bottom up.  Hower my other brother who had the same type of metastatic lung cancer his death was peaceful. I have the same metastatic lung cancer as my two brother. It trampired it was a genetic canet. My other  sibling where advised to go for genetic testing being one of seven children so far it's just the 4 of us. Anyhow you don't want to hear about they. Again my love we are taking only days.  If as you say. She's sleeping a lot it could be 2/3 days.  Although I was against my brother hang the syringe driver in. I can say the 4 days prior to his death he was nog in pain. And he looked peaceful.   Hope this helps when I say days. I am so sorry my love 

  • Hiya

     

    Im so so sorry to hear about your mum..my mum is at a similar stage but without the syringe driver...im worried she is going to go very soon and im not sure what i can do to make her feel happier...shes so so down and cries 24 7 when awake thoughts and prayers witìh you

  • Hiya

    i am so sorry for you both...my mum sadly fell asleep 14th April but it still doesn't feel real....just treasure your time with her because when the end comes it comes very quickly x

    I took so many photos in the last days and now I constantly look at them but nothing brings comfort ....

    the journey you are both on can't be changed but please believe me when I say you are not alone xxx

    Take care and stay strong 

    xxx