Hi all , n thank for the time n effort s of stopping by to read, 

the thing is my lovin father, has got bone cancer, came from the cells., ( primary) . It all happened n started at the start of Covid-19... so you may of guessed, wasn't allowed too see him ... only got to talk to him via the phone while covid was on which was very hard too understand n too to cope with ....  there me thinking he be ok , there a lot of treatment he can have he a fighter he be Fine.... 2 years have gone on by n yeah I can see over the period of time he changing.... but not for the best ... my dad is only 63..... only still young age ... anyway , he spent more time in the hospital for infection after infection , it was becoming overwhelming, for us both, still once locked down was lifted , I was happy too see him .. but now he had too stay away cause of his infection , he could pick up anything that could make him I'll . So we carried on the phone calls ,  to the point where he had an hospital appointment the beginning of feb, for cemo, n to have blood take n all that . He been in there ever since... it been horrible, I know that cancer, is not nice at all , I got a call from the hospital saying n asking I better come up too the hospital too see ya dad !!! 
ok , so off I go to see my dad first time in a long time ... I was so so upset n shocked, he didn't look like my dad , he was so thin n all bone , n he looked if he was in his 90s.... pale Bloch blood skin, gray n white hair ... anyway got talking to doctors n nurse, about what's happening n year he at end of life . I was shocked n fell into tear's, I couldn't believe what I was being told, n to so for the past week I've seen him every day n night ... to he told that Monday, just gone to be prepared , as it's gonna be his last night, here with us .... 

me myself I just don't know what to say or do , I've gone off food , I can't sleep, when I'm alon all I do is cry,  wishing it was me in his place.... 

many idea's how to cope