Hello Jamie234, 

This is so very sad I am sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds like a really aggressive cancer and it's such a shame that it progressed so quickly. What a year it has been for you and your family with cancer affecting your family dog, your gran and now your mum. It's deeply unfortunate that the treatments didn't work and that her latest results revealed that new treatments or going private would no longer be an option for her. This is truly devastasting and I can understand why you are feeling so low at the moment. 

It's good though that you are trying to distract yourself even if you feel that reality hits you harder afterwards but it's important to focus on yourself at times and to try and do things that are enjoyable and which can take your mind off all this pain even if it's just for a few minutes.  What you shared with us about  your mother being unable to spend quality time with her grandchild is truly heartbreaking. Covid also has a nasty habit of getting in the way and spoiling all our family and life plans and it's sad that it has prevented your mum from seeing your little boy as often as she would have liked. The overwhelming feeling of sadness and depression you describe is totally understandable and it's something that many of our members will have also felt before and I hope they will be along shortly to share their own story with you. Perhaps you could talk to your GP about how you are feeling and whether they have any suggestions to help you cope in the coming days, weeks and months? Do give your doctor a call when you get a chance and explain your situation and how you are feeling. 

There is a designated section on our website for family, friends and caregivers to help you support your mum during this difficult time but also to remind you to make sure you take care of yourself which can be easy to forget. 

Our community is there for you any time you need to offload and talk to others who understand what you are going through at the moment. 

Best wishes to you and your mum during this challenging time, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Jamie,

My heart goes out to you, the thought of losing your dear Mum must overwhelm you at times.  I have just been diagnosed with cancer, so my daughter must be going through the same emotions.  Of course we love each other so much and I know it must be so hard for her...but she knows how I feel.  I worked in a lovely Doctors surgery for over 20 years and knew most of the patients...it was great, the two Doctors husband and wife knew their patients and so did I.  Unfortunately, I have seen young people lose their lives to cancer so count my blessings I have lived a lot longer.  I am sure your Mum would not want you to feel all this sadness and depression.  She would want you to live your life to the full, you have a baby son and she would want the best for him..you have all your life in front of you.  You will cope with the next few months, its a case of having to, if you do not feel strong, let friends and family know so they can support you...you may feel lost, but believe me, life goes on and although your Mum will remain in your heart forever things will get better, and I can assure you your feelings at the moment will not remain and these feelings will pass, I know you cannot imagine that now, but I can promise you they will.  I lost my lovely Mum 8 years ago, I also nursed her till she died, she was my best friend.  In fact today I took some lovely flowers to her grave, like you I felt lost, but I can now look back and talk and laugh about the good times we had together, so my dear my thoughts and prayers are with you and your dear Mum x

Hey,

Wow I didn't expect to come on here and find someone In exactly my shoes. I'm 26, mums 52. She got diagnosed December 2020 with cervical cancer and just like yours has spread. Treatment was good and working, until they left her for months after. She's got bags all on her including colostomy. The bags are what made her worse. She's skin and bone and pretty much bed bound. My family doesn't talk much about it and friends and partner don't know what to say. It's so lonely and heartbreaking, knowing there's nothing you can do. The pain they're in, it's just so unfair. We're thinking she has months left. Utterly devastating. Sending you and your family love during this awful time x