I never ever posted in any forum before. I am a 22 year old girl. I have been a leukemia patient since mid 2018. It's been almost 3 years now. I had two relapses while I was on treatment.
 

After my second relapse the doctors said that there's nothing that can work anymore and maybe we can try haplo stem cell transplant as a last trial (as i didn't have any matched donors)

hearing all the risks that come with this kind of transplant made me hesitant but then I decided to go for it...i haven't even had the cells engrafted yet, but I am having a major problem. I am not able to take any medications orally or eat at all. I had NG tube inserted more tahn once, but I vomited it out a few days later every single time. I am losing so much weight and i am not getting any nutrients needed for engraftment because i am vomiting all that I try to eat. It's not because of nausea only but also a conditional reflex. I kind of have food trauma because of the 3 years of treatment filled with vomiting, and stomach pain. I dunno how to help myself eat anymore. I don't even care anymore about leaving the hospital because all food taste completely different, so it's not like home food will be better in any way. I feel like i am in some kind of vicious circle that i am not able to get myself out of :cry::cry: