Hi Alice and welcome to the Cancer Chat community.

I'm so sorry to read your post. It sounds like you've been through so much and to now find out you're got another cancer diagnosis to contend with must be really tough.

Hopefully some of our members who have been in similar situations will offer their support and advice to you soon but in the meantime I just wanted to wish you all the best with your treatment and let you know we're here for you.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Alice,

my heart's with you...I'm sorry you went through all of this.

I am a 22 year old girl who's currently having a bone marrow transplant...I've been taking chemotherapy for 3 years. I had 2 relapses and after the last one in December 2020, they told me transplant is my only option left. So just this year i had radiotherapy as well...specifically before transplant. I can't obviously put myself in your shoes, but all I can say is that I can imagine how anxious anyone in your shoes would be.

Know that what you feel is normal and don't be harsh on yourself. On the days that you feel you can try having online calls wity family/friends. That sometimes helps. And if you don't have the energy to talk let them know and maybe they can be the ones mainly talking. This lifts the load that could be on you when having a call. I honestly don't really know what to suggest other than ideas to fill your time with. this sometimes helps distract us from leaving ourselves to our negative thoughts. Maybe opening up to someone you trust could also help. Crying helps too. It's ok to cry.

Many times i think I would've committed suicide long time ago if i leave myself to my thoughts. It's important to ask yourself what is the purpose of life? What will happen after death? And don't limit yourself to the answers that you already know. Broaden your scope. Personally, I've done lots of research on these questions from before and I've been able to find answers that give meaning to my life. That make me not feel like I'm unlucky in any way, rather I'm sooo lucky compared to everyone else. So do your research whenever you can. Look for answers...and remember not to limit your scope.

sending you soooo much love...I'll check up on you again whenever I am able to. Take care

Thank you so much for writing back to me. I am so sorry your journey has been hard and I have everything crossed for you that the transplant works!! My professor said about full body radiotherapy, I had a recent PET scan and it showed no other cancer cells in my body so I am feel frustrated having to go through treatment knowing that, but obviously would rather be safe than sorry.

I am trying to talk to loved ones and I have learnt again who is truly around for you, I am making the most of spending as much time as possible with those people as I know how precious time is. 

That is an amazing thing you have done research and found the purpose of life, I have always felt I have so much to do in life but like you once again cancer has stopped me in my tracks. 

How are you finding the bone marrow transplant, I haven't done much research or asked questions as I know I need to try through the chemotherapy before hand. I know a few people that had stem cell transplant when I went through treatment first time round so I'm guessing it's a little like that.

I would love to keep in touch and share our experiences, it's nice to talk to someone who can relate.

Sending all my love back to you and I am here whenever you need me x

Awww thanks a lot Alice :love: 

sorry i forgot to mention that I am diagnosed with ALL (Acute Lymphblastic Leukemia)

Just like they told you I also had to take radiotherapy for the whole body as a "just in case" (Total body irradiation) I had to take for the brain as well (cranials) because my relapses were mainly CSF, then they showed in the bone marrow or as enlarged lymph nodes. However, I never had radiotherapy before that.

yes yes yes...I can totally relate..tough times like these show us the truth and the genuineness of people's feelings.

of course I'd love to tell you about my experience so far with the transplant. Let me message you privately and we'll continue chatting there. Have a lovely evening!

Look forward to hearing from you! 

Alice x

I've messaged you. Let me know if you haven't received the messages.

Hello

Sorry i have only just seen this. If you still want a chat let me know.

Alice x