Hello Jess,

                 Sorry to read of your friends bad news,l can well imagine she is in a bad state of shock and extremely worried for her family and herself.

                                                                     To set the scene l was diagnosed with grade 3 verging on 4 colon cancer.l had 6 weeks pre surgery radiotherapy and chemotherapy with a break from radio each weekend.Just before surgery to the bowel 6 weeks later,aggressive spread to the Liver was picked up and l had immediate surgery which removed 60%.Bowel surgery six weeks later with a stoma,followed by 8 three week rounds of heavy duty chemo,Stoma reversed 14 months later.This started seven years ago,and my bowel has recently returned to something akin to respectability.

Your friend can expect one almighty fight that is going to take up a not insignificant piece of her life,and tiredness like she will not have experienced before,and looking after children in the midst of this will be some challenge,but not impossible,l farm livestock and continued to look after them throughout my illness,hospital stays were kept to the bare minimum to facilitate this.She will need to cast adrift the unnessacery,prioritise the essential on a daily routine that allows time for recovery.Of course as a mum she would be doing this already,except from here on in it will feel like she has treble the number of spinning plates to keep upright,whilst walking a far narrower tightrope than she thought was produced,whilst wearing a full diving suit with lead shoes--Phew! Never ever should she turn down any help,her pride switch needs to be set to off

From here on she needs to realise that she has to lessen her short term self expectation and accept that a longer term view with keeping stress to a minimum is the goal to pulling through this,so easy to write,unbelievably difficult to practise.

My assumption is that the cancer has spread to liver from the primary tumour in the bowel through the lymphatic system ,and has not broken completely out of the bowel wall.That being the case the hope will be to arrest spread and shrink tumour with chemo,before resection of the bowel.From what you write ,there is a slight chance that liver surgery might take place if the chemo stops spread.l found the bowel op was one thing but the liver op was on a scale of painfully horrendous,but like everything viewed in hindsight,you got through it.That is the message l would send to your friend,it is possible to emerge out the other side from this,and in a far better condition than you ever felt possible at the outset.All she can bring to this is positivity,a spirit that refuses to lie down,and a mind that has adjusted quickly to the new reality that is as stressfree as possible.l found this rubbed off on those providing my treatment,and the adage that what give to others you get back tenfold really applies.

Tell her from me that here in her darkest hours that the light of recovery is a real possibility,all she has to do is to allow that thought to accompany her on the difficult journey she is embarked upon,

              l wish her well,

                                     David

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Hi Jess,

I'm not a medic but had a close friend going through this, so I know a little. What is positive is that there is a chance of a cure, because the spread beyond the bowel is confined to the liver. With many Stage 4 cancers cure is not an option, even if it can be controlled for many years.

Your friend is undergoing chemo. My advice for her is to try not to think too much beyond that. Easier said than done, I know. After the chemo is complete the doctors will decide if surgery is worthwhile. This is what your friend must keep feeling positive about. 

28 is insanely young. Your friend is so unlucky. Wishing you and your friend all the best.

Harry

NOTE: There are some recognized centres of excellence for liver surgery associated with bowel cancer. It may be worthwhile seeking a second opinion at one of these places if your friend's medical team advise against surgery.

hi  I was  diagnosed  With same in may  and I’m only 38 I had my colon removed then they said I had to shadows on my liver so started chemo flofloxiri which is a strong one when I had mri and ct scan they said I had 8 on my liver they have shrunk and some have disappeared I’m having my liver surgery on Tuesday to remove the rest but the doctors seem all positive